Heart of a Rebel
by Carlisle'sPetiteDefenseur
Summary: Bella Swan is 15,both her parents are dead,and she has no use of her right arm.She's been in the Foster Care System since she was 6,she cuts herself,gets high,and drinks.Can anyone help her get away from the dark & rebellious life she lives?E/B.
1. Cullen's

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Unless you can't recognize them, then I probably do.**

My name is Bella Swan, and I'm 15 years old. I've been in the foster care system since I was six years old and my normally drunk mother died in a car crash that also took the use of my right arm. I know that my mom was a terrible person, but she didn't have to drive drunk with her six year old daughter in the car, that's just fucked up, even for her. Not that she would care, my mom hated me after my dad Charlie died. Shot in the line of duty when I was only the tender fucking age of four. I miss my dad a lot, he absolutely adored me, and my mom did, too, when he was here. She started drinking after she found out he died And I guess you might call her one of those abusive drinkers.

I remember waking up in the hospital room, crying, which caused a friendly nurse to rush in almost immediately. My arm was in a cast, and I was alone and afraid, nice spot to be in when you're six fucking years old. Days later, after the doctors deemed me fit to leave the hospital, someone from children's aid came and took me to a foster home. I was sent to my first set of foster parents a little over two weeks later. Six year olds generate a lot of interest. I didn't mind the lady, but the man scared me, he was ... Well, one day, the lady, who said that I could call her mommy if I wanted to, left to go grocery shopping. Leaving me with the man. Now, I don't want to bad mouth men, but you know what? What the fuck, you guys? Why the fuck would he want to touch a six year old. Why would any of you? Well, he fucking did. He started to touch me. I cried and tried to get away from him, slapping him with my good hand, but he merely chuckled and held me down even more the lady got home, and all I remember after that was a bunch of yelling, and the police coming. I was taken back to the foster home, thank fucking god for that.

For some _weird_ reason I've never been able to stay with a set of foster parents for longer than two months. I had never really been bad, just fucking useless, because I wasn't able to do that many chores or anything with my arm. Fuckers claimed that I was just being lazy, and not even trying to get the use of it back again, and that's just a lie, because I worked really hard in physiotherapy. I wonder if they all thought I enjoyed being like this, being some useless fuck, stuck in their stupid fucking system.

When I was 12, I got a hold of a knife. I had heard about people who cut themselves, and they said that it made them feel better, so I tried it. I liked it. It was a quick fix for any pain you were going through at the time, those little slices. And it wasn't like I had a reason to fucking feel guilty, because no one gives one shit about me, so now my arm that I can't move has a ton of cuts that litter it, and I don't really care if anyone finds out. The family that I stayed with then, called my worker, and I was taken back to the Foster Home. Apparently they didn't want a cutter in the house.

At age 14, I was walking home from school, when some guy who was lurking in some random fucking alley offered me some beer. I took it. He also gave me some weed, and taught me how to roll it. And smoke it. Talk about some real happy times there, when I got home, the man of the house I currently lived in discovered that I was drunk and high. He got really angry, but I wasn't mad at all. I was fucking high and that made me feel peaceful about everything. I was even peaceful about him raping me. Until it wore off. There was also a lot of yelling when his wife got home, and back to the Foster Home with me. For some reason, I still didn't feared men after that. I guess I was just too bold and rebellious at this point. Or something.

Now here I am, I'm 15 years old, still in the Foster Care System, and about to be adopted by Forks' fucking sensational Doctor Cullen. Give me a break, they say he's so good, but I'll be back here at the Foster Home within another few months. No one can put up with me, I'm the teenager who cuts, drinks, and gets high. I'm anti social as fuck, my grades suck, my hair and clothes are dark, and in general, I'm kind of fucking intimidating for most people. No one knows of the Bella Swan who cries like a baby when she goes to visit the graves of her parents.

There was a sharp knock on my door in the Foster Home, and my worker appeared, smiling gently at me. Meghan was nice, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Please don't screw this up, Bella, or we're going to have to switch you to another place, and I know you don't want that, because Charlie and Renee are buried here, along with your other relatives."

"I'll try not to screw it up, Meghan." I promised.

"Do you have all your things together?"

"Yeah, I have everything." I sighed. It wasn't like I had that much shit.

"No knives?" she asked.

"No knives, Meghan." A fucking lie, but so what?

"Alright, well, Dr. Cullen is waiting down stairs for you. Be polite, he really is a good man."

"I know, I know." I sighed again.

"Sorry, Bella." She ruffled my hair fondly.

I snorted, and flattened my hair again. I grabbed my duffel bag, and headed down the stairs, to the living room. There was a man, with pale skin, and golden eyes. His hair, also a pale blonde, and damn, he can't be more than 25.

"You must be Bella." He said calmly, not shocked by my looks like any other foster parents normally are.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen, I'm Bella Swan and it's nice to meet you." I said. Hur-fucking-ray, formalities.

"You can call me Carlisle, Bella." He chuckled, and looked at my bag that I was carrying with my good arm, "Can I take that for you?"

"No thanks, I've got it, Carlisle." I like my independence, well as much of it as I can have.

"Alright, if that's what you wish." He said, heading towards the exit of this joint. I followed him outside, and he headed to a car.

"Holy shit, this car is yours?"

"Yes, it's mine, rather flashy, but I can afford it." He said, and popping the trunk for me to put my duffel bag in. I dropped the bag in it, and headed to the front passengers seat. Carlisle held the door open for me, and shut it once I get in. I mumbled a 'Thank you.' He quickly headed to the driver's seat… almost a little too fast, and was it normal to be that flawless?

Carlisle took in my weird look with a chuckle. "Ah, you're a perceptive one, aren't you?"

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"You'll see when we get to my house. My family is different from people like you, but you're going to have to keep the secret, and try not to laugh at it, Bella."

"I've been through enough to not by shocked by things. You could tell me you were aliens, and I'd most likely believe you." Great. Fucking surprises.

"Well, we aren't exactly aliens."

"I guess I'll take some comfort in that." I mumbled.

He just chuckled. I guess he heard me. "So, tell me about yourself, I read some interesting things on your paper."

"Probably all true." I admitted. Why try to hide it?

Carlisle sighed. Probably hopped that all the write ups on me were complete and utter lies, but they weren't and I didn't really care. Most people no fucking clue what they are getting into when they agree to take in a foster child, much less me. "Well, is there anything good I should know?"

"Not really." I shrugged. "Not much of a good person."

"There's always some good in everyone." Carlisle said. Because he is such a fucking wise man.

I snorted, and grabbed the iPod I managed to buy when I started getting access to some money. All the stuff Charlie and Renee had left for me, and they had also left money behind in a bank account. And seeing as the mortgage was already paid off on the house, despite them being so young, the money was mine. I've had access to it since I turned 14, and I spent it very sparingly. I don't have much music though, which really sucks.

He drove across a bridge. Not that far past that, he turned onto a drive way. It was fucking long, and then he pulled right up to a damn mansion! My jaw almost hit the floor as I stared at it.

"Do you like it, Bella?"

"Yes, it's," fucking incredible, "very nice, Carlisle."

He smiled at me, and got out of the car. I opened the door for myself, because I think he got the independence shit. He popped the trunk and got my bag though. I followed him to the house, and we walked in. I looked around, more curious than I had been in a long time. It was open, and pretty. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Carlisle headed up some stairs and I followed him again. He led me to a kitchen, where people were standing around talking. All eyes shifted to me, some glaring, and some smiling warmly.

"Everyone, this is Bella Swan."

"Hi." I mumbled.

"Welcome dear." A lady with caramel colored hair said. "I'm Esme, Carlisle's wife."

"Nice to meet you, and thanks for taking me into your home…" because you really do not know what you are getting yourself into.

"It was no problem at all, dear." She said, as she and Carlisle look pointedly at the other teenagers.

"Hi Bella, I'm Alice!" God she was tiny. She was lucky she didn't sound like a bell when she talked, she was so fucking tiny and pixie like. Okay, well, maybe she's like 12.

"Hi Alice…"

She giggled, and poked the guy next to her. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. "That's Jasper, he's just kind of shy." The blonde girl snorted, causing Carlisle and Esme to glare.

"Hello, Bella, pleasure to meet you." Jasper said tightly, and I nodded.

"Yo, Bella, I'm Emmett, if you have a problem with anyone in this town I'm the person you can call to beat them up." He winked.

"I can beat people up myself just fine, thank you." I said, flexing my left arm.

"Maybe you do have some muscle," he said, looking like he almost wanted to laugh.

"Only arm I've got to do the job for me." Dick.

"I'm Rosalie." The blond bitch interrupted, and I had already decided I didn't like her. I ignore her, getting a huff in response.

"Well, I see you've learned how to ignore Rosalie." The boy with the bronze hair said. I don't think I like him that much either. I'm not much for pretty boys. Even though he was hot. He just seemed pissed about me being there. "I'm Edward."

"Hello, Edward." I rolled my eyes. These people had some weird fucking names.

"Um, so Bella, how about I show you to your room?" Alice piped up. "Oh, and don't worry, it's not pink."

"Uh, okay then, thanks…?"

Yeah, Carlisle was right, his family was weird as fuck. Carlisle handed me my duffel bag, and Alice grabbed me with her really tiny, really cold hand. She dragged me up the stairs. I was still stumbling when she stopped in front of a door, that said 'Bella' on it. What are we, six fucking years old? Black and red door plaque, I suppose it wasn't so bad. She opened the door.

Dream. Fucking. Bedroom. The walls were a ruby red, and all the linens were black. It was like they knew me before I even got here. Fucking weird.

"I'm sure you'll like it, Bella." Alice smiled at me.

"Yeah, I love it, it's fu- It's awesome!"

"I knew it!" She flew back down the stairs.

Okay, one thing I knew, Alice was too fucking happy of a person for me. I mean, at a certain point, it just gets creepy. I went over and sat on the bed, still staring around in awe. I think I'm in love. I'd dump my current boy friend for this bedroom. Don't even ask how I ended up with a boy friend, but cutters and druggies at school tend to stick together. We sort of, sit in our own private corners of the cafeteria, our silent vigil. Making all the 'normal' people to steer the fuck clear of us.

"Yeah, thanks." Too much happy for one day, thanks, so I opened up my duffel bag, and grabbed my knife. I dragged it across, I hardly even needed to push because of how sharp I kept it. I sighed in relief as the blood oozed out, of my scarred arm. I suddenly heard loud crashes and hissing from downstairs. Fucking weird. Then I heard someone running up the stairs and none other than the doctor himself barged into the room.

"Hi, Carlisle." I greeted him like nothing weird at all was happening.

He quickly snatched the knife away from me. "Bella, something we need to establish quickly, it's not safe to cut."

"Yeah yeah, I know. I could cut too deep and bleed to death. Give me a break."

"That, and you live with a family of vampires." He said simply.

"What?"

"You live with a family of vampires," he repeated.

"Damn, I was really hoping I was right about the alien thing."

He blinked at me. "No panic or denial?"

I rolled my eyes. "Doc, I've seen enough in my life time to believe anything. So what, you could have been a family of Sea Sponges for all I care."

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" he muttered.

"That's what almost everyone asks." I said lightly. "So are you going to pack me back up and take me back to the foster home?"

"Most certainly not." He said, seeming appalled that I would suggest it of his upstanding family of fucking VAMPIRES. "Everyone deserves the chance at a good life. Now go and run that under some water. You have a bathroom here in your bedroom. I will call you down when your supper is ready, I wouldn't recommend going downstairs right now."

"Alright, whatever you say." I mumbled, getting up.

Carlisle left the room, and I grabbed some beer from my bag, taking it to the bathroom with me. I was getting low on stuff. I'd need to meet up with Chris soon. Oh the joys of having boyfriends who have connections.

Fuck, physiotherapy starts again next week, I realized. After about a five month break. I don't get why they just can't leave me alone, I'll never move my fucking arm again. I felt a tear on my cheek as the water was hitting my hands.

Life is shit.


	2. Miss Me,But Let Me Go

**Disclaimer: You know it, I don't own it. I obviously don't own it. My writing is crap.**

"Come on, Bella!" Chris slurs, tossing me yet another fucking bottle of beer. God, I don't know how I could ever live without this shit, "Have another!"

There was no need telling me to take another beer twice, I nod at him with a smirk on my face. He opens the stupid fucking thing for me, because I am a useless shit with only one arm and fuck those caps are hard to get off.

I love that Chris is my boyfriend, not for the relationship part of it, if you can even call it that. I like being with Chris because his older brother (who he lives with) is connected to a bigger drug ring in Seattle. I know that that is a felony, but it's not like it's me who's doing drug trafficking or anything like that. I'm not like that.

Fuck, I need to be careful though. If things go wrongs and the Cullen's eventually decide to throw me to the curb because of me fucking everything up I am going to have to go to a different town, in a different agency. Fuck my life.

I take a chug of yet another beer, smirking slightly to myself. The Cullen's still really don't realize what type of a kid I am. I've been in and out of so many houses that this stuff has almost turned in to a little game for me. The only thing that's ruining my happy fucking game is the risk of possibly leaving my parents graves behind.

Not that I really gave a shit about Renee anymore.

"Hand me another, Chris." I say, "Oh, and remember to open it for me, please."

"It'd be my pleasure." he grunts, handing me another one. Good, he remembered to take the cap off for me. I'd probably just scream, get pissed off and go for a can of beer rather than a bottle. See, I have experience with soda cans, so that means beer cans can't be much harder.

Unless you're drunk.

I look at Chris, who was chugging yet another beer. I think sometimes there does need to be a limit. If it wasn't for the stuff that we get, I wouldn't be here.

I _needed _that beer and shit like I needed to fucking breathe, though. Ever since that guy in the alley way had given me my first bit of beer and my first hit of weed I had been totally addicted. I manage to control my intake to at least once every few weeks, but if it goes any longer than that I start to find it hard to concentrate. Everything suddenly becomes centered around my _longing _to drink and take a hit.

I'd be sitting in my class trying to attempt doing school work but I'd start to get the jitters and I'd just completely blank out, thinking of the next time I could get my hands on the stuff I needed so badly.

I need a fucking addictions counselor. Maybe a spot in the fucking Sanitarium would work for me, too. Lets face it, I am so fucked up in the head right now I would be a gold mine to someone who worked in the Mental Health field.

"What are you staring at, baby?" Chris slurs.

I hate it when he calls me that, "First, I am not your baby, and second, I was staring at what a fucking ugly face you have. You have a face that even a mother can't love. Really, most people got beaten with an ugly stick, but you got far worse than that." I snap.

"What did I get beaten with then, babe? You?"

No, sorry, I don't go and _beat _people. I never wanted what happened to me in the first place, so what makes anyone think that I am going to want actual sexually activity that I have a choice in? No way. No fucking way.

"You got beat with a trolls club, Chris." I say, "You want to know why? They're ugly, big, stupid, pea brained, and they smell. Oh, and that defines you, too."

"Come on, baby." Christ says, getting up from his chair and falling down to the ground. He is so much more drunk than I am. I grab another beer, because I fucking need the shit, and start to chug some more. It was so cold as it rushed down my throat, and sloshed around in my stomach. It tasted like heaven to me. Nothing could describe that taste, or the rush I felt when I drank it...

I throw the now empty glass bottle down to the floor, "God fucking damn it, Christ!" I growl, "I am not your baby, and I never will be. How many other fucking girls do you call baby when you're like this? Probably almost every girl around here who likes to normally be our drinking _buddies. _You're such a fucking man whore."

"I'm the whore?" he snarls, his eyes glinting, "I'm the one who still has my virginity."

"Yeah, and like me not having my virginity at the moment is all my fault." I say, as I punch him in the face.

He does get his sucker punch in at me, though. Now I have a fucking black eye, I'm kind of drunk and I can't go back to the Cullen's like this.

I look around at Chris, "We're over." I glare, as I march out the door of the fucking apartment he and his brother shared together. His brother was in Seattle, of course.

Their parents were dead because of his brother being associated with the wrong people. Isn't that wonderful?

I stumble around for a bit and find some empty bench in a park and pass out on that.

Did I ever mention that I fucking hate life?

"_She'll be waking up soon." _

Huh?

I would like to know what the hell is going on, and why the pixie freak is in my room, informing some currently unknown people that I am about to awaken.

The door slams shut as I open my eyes and groan. The only bad thing about getting drunk is the fucking hangover that follows, and I drank more than I normally would last night. Oh, and who the fuck took me home?

"Good afternoon, Bella." Carlisle says.

Oh, great, so I'm left in my bedroom while currently hungover with my parental figures who can only seem to speak with god damned formalities.

You do not know how much I hate formalities. Are they really all that nescesary?

"What's so fucking good about it?" I ask him, clearly pissed off.

He ruffles my hair, "You know you're not exactly in the position right now to be cussing in front of Esme and I, right?"

"I'm fucking hungover, I just broke up with my boyfriend, and..." I stop.

Fuck, I am such a loser.

"What else would you like to tell us, Bella?" Esme asks me, calmly.

She's how I pictured what Renee might have been like, if she was still here and not a fucking drunk with too many emotional issues. God, I sound like my own fucking mother. All I need is a child to almost kill and put in a foster care system and we'd have a god damned match.

"Nothing." I snap at her, but my eyes were blazing and the fury was almost pulsing through me.

How could I not think that breaking up with Chris would lead me to a situation where I have no beer or no weed? I am going to start suffering from the withdrawel soon and I won't have anything to fucking cure it!

"You know that you can tell Carlisle and I anything, Bella." she says, seriously.

"Well maybe I don't want to tell you two anything." I say, "My life is my life, and I don't wish to share it. Got it?" I put my hands up to my forehead and lightly massage it while scrunching my eyes shut. I couldn't even look at fucking light, and damn those vampires are bright with their paleness.

"You look like you could use something for that hangover." Carlisle comments, "Would you like anything for it? I can give you something right now, if you'd like."

"No, I don't want anything. I just want to go back to sleep and never wake up again, because life is fucking shit and it's never going to change. No matter how convinced you people think you can make a difference in it. Just leave me alone, and tell me how long I'm grounded for."

"You're not grounded." Carlisle tells me.

"What?" I ask.

I was completely dumbfounded, and didn't even have a snarky comment. What the hell... he just did not say that, did he? Aren't all foster dads suppose to be all strict, stern and no fun at all type of people?

"I think the hangover that you have from last night is good enough punishment. Do you regret what you did?"

"Yes." I say. No.

"You're sorry for your actions, right?" he inquires.

"Yes, Carlisle." I reply. No, of course I'm not. Don't you know how fucking amazing that stuff can be? Oh god, how am I going to get more?

"Then I guess today is your lucky day." he says with a chuckle, "Everyone needs a second chance once in a while. Here's yours."

"Thanks, I guess."

What else am I suppose to fucking say?

"You're welcome." he says sincerely. Because he's almighty Carlisle. He's Forks sensational doctor, a vampire, a life saver, a chance giver and a human lover. Oh my god, I think I'm gonna be sick. How can one person be so fucking good?

"You can go back to sleep now, dear." Esme says.

"Well, now that you've told me that, I just want to know. Why the hell did you wake me up in the first place?" I snap, "Can't you people just leave a person sleep for once in a while. Just because you people never sleep doesn't mean that other people don't around here. I can't function very well without a full nights sleep, unlike you perfect people who have your perfect lives. Living in your little fantasy land with vampires and shit. What, is there a fucking boogie man that's going to jump out from under my bed, too?"

"Isabella." Esme says, using my first full name, "Enough with the nonsense. Carlisle and I have let you go without any punishment for this whole ordeal. Don't make us punish you simply because you can't get your language or any of your rude comments under control. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am." I grumble at her.

"Go back to bed now." she says, "Come down to the kitchen when you're hungry and in a mood where people can actually tolerate you."

"Certainly." I hiss.

My head hits the pillow as I hear my bedroom door close and Carlisle and Esme leave. My eyes instantly fall shut and I go back to dream land. Fucking miserable place that is, too.

Finally I wake up on my own fucking terms, and feel just in a bit better of a mood this time and I don't have one of those fucking killer head aches, or the stomach upset either. I sit up in bed and look out at the still falling rain.

It never stops raining in fucking Forks, because I guess fucking mother nature wants all the towns inhabitants to be miserable and depressed from all the rain and green they see. Fucking green stuff all over the town. Stupid rain that makes everything so miserable and wet. I want to go to a fucking sunny place for once in my life.

Dad always told me that some day we were going to go somewhere really pretty, with lots of sun and beaches full of nice sand. He had promised me that we could make sand castles and just sit outside all day, and eat lots of ice cream. When I was four I really brightened up at the lots of ice cream part. I asked when we could go, and he just told me when I was a little bit older.

We never got to 'when I was a little bit older', though. Fucking guy that killed my dad...

I take out the black and red journal that I kept with me at the foster home. I don't know if it was a journal, or a book that I wrote in about all the ways I was going to find the person who killed my dad and torture them so slowly. Making everything slow and painful... I wanted to listen as he begged me not to kill him. I would never listen to him though. I'd make him die, just like he made my dad die. All I have to do is just find the fucking Federal Prison the bastard is stuck in.

So maybe it isn't a journal, maybe it's my book of torture methods. My little bloodbath book that I could look through and vent my anger out on when I felt extremely upset about life. That was almost all the fucking time now, though. I'd soon need a new book to get out all my violent and twisted little fantasies in.

There was one good thing in my journal though. I wrote it down as soon as Megan had told me it. I was crying when she had recited it to me, without even looking at anything. She knew it straight from the top of her mind. She was always so fucking smart and cool. I really admired her.

_When I come to the end of the Road  
And the sun has set for me,  
I want no rites in a gloom filled room  
Why cry for a soul set free?_

_Miss me a little-but not too long  
And not with your head bowed low,  
Remember the love that we once shared  
Miss me-but let me go._

_For this is a journey we all must take  
And each must go alone,  
It's all part of the Masters Plan  
A step on the road to home._

_When you are lonely and sick of heart  
Go to friends we know,  
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,  
Miss me-but let me go._

No one would ever picture me as a person to read any kind of fucking poem and sit there and cry like a stupid idiot, but sometimes this poem did make me cry. I felt fucking ashamed of it, like somehow crying made me weaker. That's why I don't cry in front of people. Bella Swan can not be seen as weak.

Bad problem about leaving with the fucking perfect vampires is they'd hear if I was crying, so now I have to keep that to a minimum. Not that I cried a lot anyways, I was so over that kind of shit by the time I turned seven.

By the time I was in Junior High School people claimed that I had no heart. Of course I have a fucking heart, everyone does. I just don't have a good one, most the time it's hateful and loathes the world. Hell, I even fucking hate myself at times. I hate everything about myself. I can't even be a good fucking kid for Charlie, if the whole 'They're watching over you' thing is true. He'd be one fucking disappointed father.

No one knows how much I fucking hate myself, and no one will ever know.

Never fucking ever.


	3. Surgery Annoyances

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Get it. Got it. Good.**

I was more quiet since the last accident with getting drunk as fuck. It was time to lay low for a while until the Cullen's forget about that whole ordeal and have me in their good books again. Not that I'm in the fucking bad books, they're too nice sometimes. Carlisle and Esme that is... the others are weird. Edward seems like a huge loser, and Emmett has been deemed as a fucking dick head. I don't have anything to say about Jasper, seeing as he doesn't even really talk to me, or come near me for that matter.

What am I, fucking poison or something? Does he think that _I'm _going to bite him?

Alice is okay, seeing as she gave me my fucking dream room. That room is my own personal heaven, I can just disappear there whenever I don't want anyone to talk to and everything seems decent. Rosalie just seems bitchy. Like she doesn't want me here. Probably thinks I'm just some fucking freak show who Carlisle and Esme pitied. Although, that is probably true.

You want to know what Carlisle and Esme fucking did to me the other day? They actually did make me go to a fucking addictions counselor. Listen, I don't talk to anyone about my problems, so just because I like to get drunk and high as fuck every so many weeks doesn't mean that I'm gonna want to talk about that, either. _Why do I do it? _Not because I fucking want to go and go it all the time, it's because I fucking need the stuff like everyone else needs air to breathe. The stuff _is _my air. It's all I've got. Or all that I use to have.

Fuck it all.

I have to admit, not out loud, though... that I do kind of like living here with the Cullen's. Sure, not the best fucking place for a cutting human like me, but they tolerate me. More than anyone else has really tried to do. Except for that woman who had the husband that raped me when I was 14. She actually tried to look out for me and even knew the whole story when she and her husband agreed to adopt me. Him a little more reluctantly than her though.

Well look where that fucking got her. A husband in jail.

I walk through the door of the fucking wonder house and slam it shut behind me, as I get off my shoes with ease. Most people take a while with high top lace ups, but I've got everything down perfectly. It takes skill, skill that I have. With one arm and hand. I should get a fucking gold star.

I head to the kitchen, because god damn it, I am really hungry. That cafeteria food looks like someone vomited in it and just _tried _to disguise the smell of it. No way I am eating there, and I am not the kind to buy a bag of chips at lunch and eat only that. I need a fucking big meal, I am a growing teenager after all. Where the hell am I suppose to get all my energy from, drinking a bunch of red bull all day?

"Have you been exsersizing your arm lately, Bella?" Carlisle asks me, as he sets down the news paper.

"Yes, of course." I say, through gritted teeth. I lie, but I don't give a flying shit.

He gives me one of his all mighty wise man looks, "Really?"

"Yes, of course, Carlisle." I say smoothly.

"Then show me what you've been doing." he says, calmly.

You fucking bastard, I don't even remember what the stupid physio people told me what to do. I lost the sheet with all the good for nothing movements on it. Don't you people know I gave up a long time ago?

"Well, you see..." I start off, biting my lip.

Shit, Bella, don't show that you're lying. You screw up! Play it calm like you always do. That's the way to go. Idiot!

"You've lied to me." he says, calmly.

"Why do you have to be so calm about things?" I snap.

"Why do you feel the need to lie to me?" he asks, looking at me.

Jesus fucking Christ, it was like his eyes were trying to search down in to my fucking soul or something. Well, I have a very tainted soul as it is, so good luck with your searching, doc.

"Why do you look like you're soul searching?" I snort, "I probably don't even have one anymore."

"Everyone has a soul." he says. Because he's such a fucking wise man.

"I'm not everyone." I grumble, angrily, "I am one person, one person who doesn't give a fuck about anyone in the world, and I like getting drunk and high because I need it. You got it?"

"I need to talk about something." Carlisle ignores my last response.

How dare he ignore me, especially when he put me in the mood to fight almost everything he says? I can never be in a fucking decent mood for at least thirty minutes.

"If it's about that god damned surgery, I don't want it. Even if it could get back 80% or more of my arm usage. Knowing my damn luck it won't even work, or if it does, it'll be something like 5%."

"You don't know what will happen unless you get it." he says.

"Well, I don't want to get it. I've made my choice, and no one else can sway me."

"You'd have a better chance at life, though." Carlisle replies, "You'd even be able to drive and get a car for your 16th birthday."

"I don't want a car, and I have no desire to drive." I say, "I don't want to get that surgery, there are going to be needles and I don't want fucking things near me that cut me open."

"Unless it's you doing the cutting." he says, quietly.

I glare at him and grab my school bag that I had dropped on the floor beside the chair that I _was _going to sit in. I don't even bother to get the food that my stomach was practically screaming for. I bolt up the stairs and slam my bedroom door shut behind me.

Fuck all you fucking retards that are trying to ruin my horrible life even more. Can't you just fucking butt out? I don't care about you people, so why the hell do you care about me?

**Alice POV:**

The Holiday Season was fast approaching so now I found myself in a Seattle shopping mall, with Rosalie at my side. We needed to find good things for Bella, seeing as it's her first Christmas with us Cullen's. It had to be a good one that she would remember, and hopefully cheer her up a little. A depressed emo kid is not easy to live with. Especially for Jasper. Although, she does try very hard to control herself for him.

How considerate.

"Alice, can we just get this over with?" Rosalie grumbles, "We don't even know what the brat likes."

"You only call her a brat because she thinks you're a bitch." I tell Rosalie.

"She's right, then." Rosalie says, "I am a bitch. Towards her."

"Only because she's a human."

"No, because she has no idea what she got herself in to."

"We are going to have to tell her about that soon." I say, as I look at some things on the rack, "Not now, though. It's Christmas. No one wants that thrown at them at Christmas time."

"She'd probably laugh at it." Rosalie shrugs.

"I'm not so sure about that one." I say, because I know everything.

"As I said, lets get this done with." Rosalie says, "We've got a lot of shopping to do today."

"I know." I say, almost in my glory. If I just could have had Bella here to dress up like a little Barbie Doll my exsistance would be completed.

For now.

No one ever knows what will come up with me. No one.

"Think she'd like this?" Rosalie finally asks me, holding up some red skinny jeans.

"Yeah, she would. Even though she owns like, 2 or 3 pairs of them already." I shrug, "Throw them in anyways. Pick up some blue ones though. They'd look fine with a black shirt and sweater or something, and get some color in to her wardrobe."

"She'll hate us for that."

"Do I seem like I care about that? I'll get her in it, even if I have to threaten her most prized possession."

"Only you, Alice." Rosalie says.

"I'm glad you know me so well."

Rosalie rolls her eyes, "Here, lets get this,too." she holds up a black sweater with a huge skull on the front, with a red bow on it's...head?

I need to get her out of this clothing, so badly. I need something to dress up like a doll, and as far as I am concerned, dolls do not wear clothes like that. We need to get her in pretty dresses.

Aren't I sugar, spice and everything nice?

"Rose, get her some iTunes gift cards." I say, getting a vision of her with a grin plastered on her face, sitting in her room with some iTunes gift cards in her hands. "Oh, and some new ear phones as an early gift. She's going to come home today with a broken pair, because she fell down the steps at school today, and the ear buds cracked."

"Is she alright physically?" Rosalie actually bothers to ask me.

"Yes, she's perfectly fine. Just very pissed off about her ear phones. She doesn't have a back up pair and can't listen to her iPod right now." I shrug.

She's so easy for me to read now.

We fill up a cart at Wal Mart, most of the stuff for Bella, seeing as the Cullen's don't exactly buy their stuff at Wal Mart. We Can afford to go a little more high class, with me and my amazing skills to see the future and the money Carlisle brings in with being a doctor.

Bella doesn't appreciate our higher class stuff though, she'd rather stuff from Wal Mart and any other cheap place you can think of.

The emo kid ruins all my fun.

**A/N: Poor Alice.**


	4. Merry Freaking Christmas

**A/N: I agree with Bella on the Holidays. I hate them. They suck.**

**Disclaimer: I think I've told you this before.  
**

I hate the fucking Holiday Season, most of the shit is just time for companies to make a bunch of ads on the TV or in the flyers to tell you to come and buy their shit, because your loved one will love it. Half the time whatever you buy someone gets shoved away in a closet and never used. Unless it's fucking kitchen stuff or something.

The last time I ever cared about Christmas I was only four fucking years old, and Charlie was there for it, and mom was herself. Everything was alright, even if I could hardly remember the stupid occasion.

"_Daddy!" she giggled, as her father got home from a night shift at around 7 in the morning. Christmas Day, too. She ran up to him and hugged his legs, she almost slipped in the puddle of melting snow that had dripped from his boots._

"_Hey, Bells." her dad chuckled, and picked her up, kissing her little cheek. "Were you good for mommy last night and go to sleep?"_

"_Yes, daddy." she said, with wide eyes, "I swear I did. Do you think Santa came? I haven't looked under the tree yet. I was waiting for you. Mommy and I have been in the kitchen. She let me help make pancakes!"_

"_Did she?" he asked, putting me down long enough to shrug off his coat and take off his vest. He put his black thingy on what he said was called 'safety lock' so I don't hurt myself. Why would I hurt myself?_

_He takes off his big boots and then picked me up again, walking in to the kitchen._

"_Glad to have you back home, Charlie." mommy said, pecking him on the lips. "You must be hungry."_

"_I am." he sais, "Bella's probably getting eager to open her presents though."_

"_If Santa came." I said._

"_Santa came, honey. You're a very good girl." mommy assured me._

_I giggled, "Well, I can wait for daddy to eat. I don't want him to be hungry."_

_The thought of daddy being hungry made me sad. So I better let him eat._

"_Thank you, Bells." daddy said, setting me down in my own chair. "We'll go and check out your stuff as soon as we've all ate."_

_I gave a small squeal of delight, my eyes sparkling happily._

That was the last Christmas I ever had with Charlie, and the last Christmas I had with a happy Renee. We were actually a happy family back then. Way back before that son of a bitch killed my father. If he gets out of jail and I ever see him I swear to God I will punch the shit out of the fucker, or find a gun myself and make sure he dies the way that my dad died.

I remember the day that my dad died, and even though I was four, that was so clear. The most clear memory I have left of my younger days.

_I sat myself down on my mommy's lap as she cried at the kitchen table, I didn't like my mommy crying. It made me want to cry, too. "Mommy, what's wrong?" I sniffled._

"_Oh, Bella, honey..." she said, holding my close. Her voice sounded all cracked up, and she could hardly talk._

"_Mommy, should you call daddy if you're this sad?" I asked, as tears slowly fell from my eyes._

"_Bella, baby, your daddy has gone to heaven." she says, running her fingers through my hair._

"_You mean that place where everything is perfect and everyone is suppose to be happy?" I asked her, not really knowing any better._

"_Yes, sweetheart."_

"_Then why are you crying for him," I asked, confused. "Shouldn't you be happy for daddy?"_

"_Bella, this means we're not going to see him again." she tried to explain to me._

My four year old self didn't really get it.

"_Why? Why would he go to the happiest place ever and just leave his family behind?"_

"_When you go there, you can't see people again. It's not a choice, sweetheart. It just happens."_

"_So, I'll never see daddy again?" I whisper, "Ever?"_

"_I'm afraid not..." my mommy was crying hard all over again._

"_Why, though? Why?"_

"_You know that daddy is a police officer, right?"_

"_Yeah, he catches all the bad guys and puts them in jail."_

"_Yes, but sometimes, the bad guys win. This time the bad guy won, and your daddy lost."_

"_So, daddy lost and now he's going to heaven, where he'll never see us again?"_

"_Yes, sweetheart...that's right."_

"_That sounds not fair."_

It isn't fair, but things happen. See, this is also why I fucking hate Christmas... I sit there and remember everything. Starting with the last Christmas and normally ending on my fucking drunk of a mother who couldn't pull it together enough to raise her own damn child properly.

I sit on my bed with my arms tightly crossed, I had plans of just waiting out Christmas, here in my bedroom with me, myself, and I. I have no use for people at this time of year, they all bug me. Fuck, why can they all go on with their stupid happy lives and I have to be stuck thinking how awful my life is.

I could stop though.

If I wanted to. The question is, do I really want to? I don't know the answer to that...if I stopped trying to remember, would I forget any of the good times that I did have completely? I probably would and then I'd hate myself and everything around me even more. Isn't that pleasant.

"Bella!" Alice bursts in to my room.

Fucking pixie. Leave me alone, I want to ball my eyes out right now and not have anyone bother me while I do it.

"Oh." is all she says, as she looks at my tear brimmed eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I feel like fucking daisy's and sunshine." I say, with a completely level voice.

"You look like a giant pile of shit right now."

"Thanks for the comment." I say, "Now leave me alone."

"Say please." she says, with a tiny smile.

"No, I won't say please." I snap.

"Oh come on, Bella. It's manners."

"I don't want to say please."

"Just say please, please?"

My face was starting to turn bright red as she laughed a stupid little pixie laugh, patting me on the shoulder.

"Alright, alright. I get it. You don't want to say please." she grins at me, "Merry Christmas, Bella."

Don't fucking touch me, Alice.

"_Please, _leave my room." I say, with gritted teeth.

"I knew you'd say it." she says, walking out of my room with a look of triumph.

Stupid god damned vampires, I swear that I hate them all.

I do eventually decide to take a stroll downstairs, but only for food purposes. What? I do tend to think about my stomach a lot. Lucky me, I'm still skinny, too.

"There's junk food here in the living room, Bella." Esme calls, obviously knowing I was downstairs. Yeah, so I feel like junk food on Christmas. Sue me.

I sigh and go to the living room, just so I don't seem like an anti social fucktard. Even though I am one, and I don't really care, either. I don't care about a lot of things.

I sat down between Rosalie and Edward because that was the only spot left for me to sit at. I should have just sat on the floor. I grab some food to much on and my stomach stops growling, in obvious satisfaction.

"Welcome back to reality." Carlisle smiles.

I fucking hate reality, doc. So shut the hell up, won't you?

"Thanks." I grumble.

"Cheer up, kid." Emmett says, "It's Christmas."

"A kid is a baby goat, I am a teenager. A human teenager. Not a goat."

"Oh, and she actually knows something smart." Edward snorts.

"Listen, just because my grades are fucking low, it doesn't mean I'm god damned stupid." I glare at Edward.

He curls his fists up in a ball, "Well, if you aren't stupid, prove that you aren't."

"I don't have to prove to you that I am not stupid. I don't have to prove anything to you. You know what, this is probably why you don't even have a fucking girlfriend. You're such a fucking dick."

"Actually, it's because he's gay." Emmett snickers.

"I believe that." I say, snidely.

"I am not gay." Edward growls, his eyes going dark, "You have no proof that I am gay."

"Then I'll get it somehow." I grumble.

"Well, you want to know something?" he snaps at me, "The reason why you have no friends and you're going to amount to nothing is because you're an ungrateful little brat who tries to get rude and snarky comments in at everyone, and then you can't even take it if someone gets something back in at you."

Well, that's a low blow.

I shrug though, "Sure, whatever you say, Edweird."

Jasper looks over at me for a brief second though. He knows that that one actually snapped me a little bit more on the inside. Stupid fucking power.

"Enough of this." Carlisle says, "Before something starts again. I am going to say this now, I have heard enough. Bella, if you're going to keep on this track, you can go back to your room. Edward, if you're going to keep egging her on, go to your your room, too."

Edward looks almost wild, "Carlisle, you can't tell me to go to my room! I'm a grown vampire."

"Technically though, you are 17 years old and I am your current guardian, giving me the right to tell you that if I want you to go to your room, you will go to your room."

Edward shoots Carlisle a death glare and gets up from where he was sitting, he heads towards the main entrance of the house and opens the door, slamming it shut behind him. I shrug and move over on the couch. All the more room for me.

"Bella, go to your room." Carlisle sighs.

I get up and shrug, "Bye." and I go to my room without any complaints.

I didn't want to be down here in the first place anyways, so what makes anyone think that sending me to my room was going to be a problem with me?

I get ready for bed and plop down on it, letting my mind wander for a bit before falling asleep, staring at the snow that was falling outside my window.

"Bella!" the annoying pixie breaks through my wonderful dreams, "Wake up, wake up! It's Christmas morning."

"I don't do mornings, and I don't do Christmas." I put my head under my pillow. Trying to desperately block Alice out.

"Around here you do." she says, pulling my pillow away, "Come on, get up, sleepy. It's 10, so it's not that early."

"I normally sleep until 12 or 1 on my Holidays or weekends." I hiss, "Just leave me alone. Haven't I made it obvious that I hate Christmas?"

"You'll like this one, Bella. I promise you will. Please, just get up." she pleads with me, dragging me out of bed by my feet anyways. So what choice do I really have?

"Fine." I say, as I get up and slip on a pair of slippers.

It's fucking cold. Someone turn on the damn heat right now.

The two of us head downstairs, and Alice pushes me on to the couch, "You sit there."

"You're so fucking demanding."

"Language, Bella..." Esme sighs, "You haven't even been up five minutes and I already have to reminds you."

I can see how today is going to go.

"Open this first!" Alice says, placing a generally small box in my hand.

What the fuck could be useful to me that's in this stupid little box? I shrug and open it, finding a necklace with one of those crests the Cullen's wear. What is this, some type of initiation?

"You're probably going to be stuck with us a while." Carlisle smiles at me, "So I had this made for you."

I actually really like the thing, it was kind of..._pretty. _"Um...thank you." I say.

"You love it, don't you?" Alice grins.

Yeah, I do. "Yeah, I like it."

"Tell me you love it."

"I said that I liked it."

"You know that you love it, though." Alice says, her voice like bells. Sleigh Bells, kind of. If you wanted to get in to the Christmas theme.

Fuck Christmas.

"Alice!" I yell.

"Just tell me that you love it."

"Fine, I love it!" I snap, "I really do. Are you happy now?"

"Ecstatic." she says, satisfied with her work yet again.

I fucking hate that little pixie right now.

**A/N: With my Bella side talking, I have to say... Happy Fucking Christmas. Don't drink and drive (that's my side) and yeah. Designated drivers people. No, underage people who can't even drive yet don't count.**


	5. Witch Twins

Hey all!Happy Eve Before New Years Eve, so would that make it New Years Eve's Eve? I think it might. Anyways, enough with the bother. I feel unnaturally evil today, and I don't really know why. Maybe it's because of the fact that I am wearing red/white and black, with all dark black mascara and crap, while my hair is emoishly in front of my face, while I wish I could dye it black, too. Uhhh.

Disclaimer: What's the point of writing these anymore? You all know I don't own Twilight's Copy rights.

Aro POV:

I tapped my fingers on the arm rest of my throne almost lazily, as my guard had come to stand before me. I looked to Jane and Alec, and addressed the both of them personally.

"Alec and Jane, my dear ones, I have gotten word that the Cullen's have adopted a human girl, and that she is well aware of our secret." I sigh.

"What is it you wish us to do about it, master?" Jane asks obediently. Ah, Jane, such a darling girl she is.

"I want you and your brother to go to Forks and I want you to see what the Cullen's intend to do with the girl." I say simply.

"Ah, but master, you would be able to tell if they were lying or not." Alec says calmly, less eager than Jane, more calm and collected, but always doing his job well.

"I'm also sure that you and your sister could tell if you were being lied to or not."

"Of course, master."

"Good, Jane." I say, "I can always expect the best from you, my child."

"When would you like us to leave?" Alec asks me.

"As soon as possible."

"Very well then." Jane says, with her tone of authority. Young but mature.

"You want them to go on their own?" Demetri asks skeptically. "What if they need back up?"

"I highly doubt the two of them will need back up, their powers are strong enough for them to defend themselves quite well."

"Yes, but those Cullen's have quite the large coven."

"Yet their powers aren't really that defensive." Felix says, bemused.

"Just a great asset, if we could ever acquire them." I sigh.

"You could always threaten them to join, Aro." Caius says.

"Ah, but we don't want to hold anyone here against their will, brother. For we all work together better if everyone is cooperating."

"True."

"Would you like it if we were on our way now, master?" Jane interrupts impatiently. Always so eager to go on a mission.

"Yes, Jane, that would be a good idea. I expect you to be back here within the week."

"Your wish is my command." she says, walking out, with her twin brother at her heels.

Alec POV:

"This is a waste of time, sister." I say with a tone of pure boredom

"Not really, if they don't plan to change the human, we're going to have to kill her."

"Is the only thing you think about death and torture?"

"In the nutshell, yes, brother."

"You were always the sadistic one, Jane."

"Yes, and your mellowness gets on my nerves."

I stifle a chuckle at my twin sister as she glares at me. "Oh can it, Alec."

"Oh how you amuse me." I say. Putting a brotherly arm around her shoulder.

"Alec, did it ever occur to you that you're slightly disturbing at times?"

"Only once or twice." I say, as we near the Cullen residence.

I must admit I am quite shocked that no one was waiting for us outside the residence, Aro mentioned that the one who could see the future might predict our arrival, then again, why would the Cullen's have her checking the future for the arrival of only two Volturi members? It's not like Jane and I are much of a threat. Alright, well, I do snort out loud at that one.

"What has caused you to make such an annoying sound, Alec?" Jane asks in disapproval.

"Nothing at all." I say, with a small smirk playing on my face as we walk up the steps of the lovely house.

Jane knocks on the door with two sharp taps, and none other than the human girl in question opens the door. Ah, how convenient.

Bella POV:

I stare in shock at the red eyes of the two people and my heart starts hammering, as I stand there, frozen. The girl, who was small, and almost innocent looking stares at me, while a small smirk plays on her face, identical to the smirk that was on who I assumed to be her brothers face.

"Would you mind letting us in?" the girl finally speaks impatiently, "We wish to speak to Carlisle."

"Oh, um, yes, um..." I stutter, "C-C-Carlisle!"

"Yes, Bella?" he flies down the stairs, and then stares at the two visitors.

"Ah, we thought, maybe, you might be along." he says pleasantly, "Do come in, Alec and Jane. I have heard so much about you two from Aro."

"Yes, Aro also sent his regards, and said that he hoped you were well." Jane says, "It is a pleasure to finally meet you, he seems so... intrigued by your dietary choices."

Carlisle leads them to the living room, and I just stand there frozen for a small amount of time until Edward comes up behind me, grabbing my hand, dragging me along to where everyone was seated.

"Come on, Bella." was all he said to me. "No need to be scared."

I just sit down on the love seat, beside Edward and Jane looks over at me, her red eyes piercing in to mine, and I cower in to Edward's side.

"No need to scare her, sister." Alec murmurs to Jane.

"Yeah, no need to scare her." Edward says coldly to Jane.

Carlisle sighs and gives Edward a look, "Edward, they're our guests, be polite."

"Some guests." Emmett mutters.

"I can't believe I didn't see this coming." Alice mutters, "I was checking on Bella's future so closely... I must have missed it."

"It's not your fault, Alice." Jasper soothes her.

"Don't worry, nothing tragic is going to happen today." Jane says, "That is, if you plan on changing her?"

"We were going to leave that choice up to her, Jane." Carlisle says.

Well, I guess from what I gather, they weren't expecting these Alec and Jane people to be interfering, because I certainly have no idea what the hell is going on here. I just give everyone a confused look, and Esme sighs.

"Excuse me a moment, dear." she says to Jane, "but Bella has no idea what's going on."

"You mean to tell us that you brought her in to this world without telling her about the Volturi?" Alec asks skeptically.

"There hasn't really been much time to tell her, yet." Jasper interjects. "She didn't have much trouble grasping the whole vampire thing, but the Volturi is a whole other issue."

"You'd think the vampire part would be the hardest." Jane says, her face unhappy.

"She's been through more than you ever have, witch twin." Edward says, annoyed.

"Like you even know what's happened to us." Alec says simply.

"Yes, and I'm sure you've had a alcoholic mother, and foster 'parents' who have raped you and crap." Edward snorts, and my eyes widen, as I jump up and run up the stairs.

Jane POV:

Well I will admit, that was only a little bit awkward, and if it's possible, I think I'm getting a headache from that kid crying in her bedroom. The blondie goes over and smacks the douche Cullen upside the head.

"Nice going, Edward. Nice way to make a teenage girl cry her eyes out."

"I swear I didn't mean to..."

"Yeah, try telling that to her."

"I'm so stupid." he mutters.

"Yeah, no offense, but you are." my brother says, checking his watch, and I smirk now.

"Nobody asked your opinion." Edward says.

"Nobody needs to ask us." I say smugly. "We'll just put in our in put if we feel like it."

Edward just snarls at us, and Carlisle holds up his hand as everything calms down slightly, all there was was hysterical sobbing filling the house. How do they handle that racket? Stupid human loving Cullen's.

"Now I just feel awkward here." Alec sighs, "Jane, can't we just get on with it?"

"What's the problem with you?" I smack him, "Aro said to be back within the week, not back within two days, you nit wit."

"I like being Swift with things."

"Then go listen to Taylor Swift for all I care."

Okay, my brother and I may be respected members in the Volturi Guard, bad the bad thing about sending us out and alone on missions together, is that we easily get annoyed of each other, after all, we all biological siblings. We fight, a lot, but not many people on the outside of the Volturi Castle know that, until now...

Great, the Cullen's know that Alec and Jane Volturi can't stop bickering long enough to get something in order. Ah, well, at least we still have our powers.

"I do not want to listen to a teenage country singer."

"Well, I'm surprised you know that much about her, brother. So are you going to tell me, that you listen to her in secret?" I taunt.

"I swear... if I had something to hit you with..."

"Oh I am so scared, Alec." I snort.

Carlisle clears his throat, and we both look over to him. "Oh, yes, right. Sorry."

"It's fine, sometimes a common scene in this house hold." Esme says, still a mother like. Yeesh, where does she get all that love from? I'd go crazy around here.

"Yes, well, what do you plan on doing with the girl?" I say.

"If you choose not to change her, we will have no choice but to kill her."

"Or have her as the main course."

"No." Edward growls. "No, she shouldn't have to be changed."

"Well, why don't we get the girls opinion on this." I say smoothly. "Come, Alec, we shall speak to her. Alone."

"Alice?" was all Carlisle said.

"Let them, we'll suffer greatly if we refuse."

I just nod, "Well, I'm sure, we can find our way there, right, brother?"

"Yes, Jane, dearest."

I wonder if anyone ever gets sick of us talking like that? Or possibly creeped out by it? Well, of course we know the answer.

"You know, we really need to stop the whole fighting thing, it's not professional." Alec says, as we descend the stair case.

"Hm, yes, I agree."

We follow the sound, and the soft sobbing now, and knock on the door.

"Go away!"

Well, you obviously have no idea who we are, little girl.

"If you don't grant us permission, we'll just open the door." Alec says, calmly. Almost like trying to soothe a child. Oh he is so good.

"Fine." the voice quivers.

Ah, sweet victory.

My brother and I walk in, and close the door behind us, staring at the girl who was rocking back and forth on the bed, hugging her arms around herself.

Okay, awkward. Humans are useless snacks, but I feel a very very small amount of pity for this one. VERY SMALL.

"We thought, we might, explain the rules of our world to you." I say, in a gentle tone. Pretty much fake, but whatever. She's fifteen and pretty messed up.

"If you're willing to listen." Alec says silkily, "Although, I do hope you are."

"Yes." she continues to rock back and forth.

"Well, you see, Bella, we're apart of the Volturi. We are what you might say, the people who lay down the laws for this world." I say, getting tired of explaining it so many times...

"Now, young one," Alec says, "One of the rules is that no human can know of our existence."

"Or we kill them." I say gleeful, and she lets out a small cry.

"Jane." Alec says.

"Sorry, sorry."

"Not everyone dies," Alec says, "If you agree to be changed in to one of us, you live, as long as you keep the secret, and abide by the rules."

"Which I am sure the Cullen's will fill you in on soon." I say, "For my brother and I must be on our way."

"First though, will you agree?"

"I..." she stares at our red eyes, and shudders. Oh, how that makes me feel empowered. "Yes..."

"Good, then. We shall talk to your family, and then our business shall be complete here for now."

"For now...?"

"We must return, at some point, to check that you are not still human." Alec says.

With that we turn out of the human girls room, she's probably scared shitless now. Ah, whatever.

A/N: Well, I don't know what got in to me on the whole Alec and Jane thing, but they are biological siblings, and even after centuries around, they are entitled to fight, are they not? Or it may just be the fact, that I am overly tired because it is 3 AM and I am watching New Moon, and chatting with my friend on Skype. Oh and HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE NOW! HAHA! I started this chap when it was New Years Eve's Eve, and now it's New Years Eve Day. Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna shut up now :) Review if you like it, don't if you don't :D


	6. I Just Didn't Think That

**A/N: Sorry, it's been a while. I haven't really been interested in much of anything lately. As far as writing goes. I've been going through crap and stuff, and I think my short depression might be over with, but now I think I might be facing a possible eating disorder too...**

Disclaimer: I don't own this.

Bella POV:

I completely curled up in a ball, whimpering to myself as Jane and Alec left the room. Soon I hear the door closing, knowing that they had finally left now, I calmed down some.

No one came in to my room but there were some raised voices down stairs and soon just soft murmuring of voices remained. I paid no mind to them, I guess nothing is my business until they approach me with news of my fate. I don't know if I want this though. I want to live out my life as normally as I possibly can from now and now I have to be changed in to a vampire. What if I turn out to be like Alec and Jane? They seem pretty evil to me...

I lay curled up in a ball for a while longer and my breathing and heart rate even out as my eyes start to slightly droop. I fall asleep.

_Two hooded figures walk slowly towards me, their cloaks black, scarlet eyes glowing from under the hoods. I could see the hands, white as a bone, pale as death. I backed up and away from the figures as fast as I possibly could. They intimidated me to a point of where I might just run faster than I ever had in my life._

_I look down at my body, I was a little more filled out with some female assets. I was also a little bit taller and I wasn't wearing all black, I was wearing some colors. Regular denim skinny jeans and a royal blue top. This is really different. Even my hair was long and curly, not short and board straight with my emo fringe in front of my face._

"_We made a deal, that you'd be changed by the time you're eighteen. You're eighteen now and still completely human."_

"_I'm sorry, it's going to happen soon, if I can help it. Edward doesn't want me to be changed, though."_

"_Well, I guess Edward wanted you to be dead."_

_They walk towards me and I whimper._

"_Don't worry though, this shouldn't hurt..."_

"Too much."

_So the cloaked figures were Alec and Jane. The two lunge and me and I scream as their teeth sink in to my neck._

My eyes fly open as I muffle an extremely loud scream but some things about that dream confused me. Edward didn't want me to be changed? I was taller and filled out a little tiny bit more than I already am. I have long curly soft hair, with colored clothing? So I'm eighteen in this setting then. So am I going to die when I am eighteen? Oh God, I hope not.

Honestly, I may not seem like it, but I am the girl who wants to grow up, get married, have a few children and settle down. Watch my kids graduate and get married while I settle down and have a lovely retirement. Is that so much to ask for?

The Cullen's walk in to my room as I clear my throat and wipe my own tears. Yeah, I am so not going to turn in to a softie. That can never happen. We'll ignore the fact that I am learning how to play piano and what not.

"Are you alright, dear?" Esme asks.

"I'm one hundred percent." I grumble.

"Yes, because waking up screaming and crying is one hundred percent." Rosalie snorts.

"Oh, shut up." I growl at her.

"I'm just stating the obvious." she says simply.

"Yes, because we all want a Captain Obvious in our life."

"Girls, enough." Carlisle says.

Yeah, Rosalie and I still have a problem with bickering and stuff.

"Sorry." we both apologize.

I bite my lip and then look at Carlisle, "Why didn't you tell me any of this stuff yet?"

"We thought it was best to wait a while, seeing as you were dealing with so much already. You were happy at Christmas, so that wasn't a good time either. We don't want to bring something like this down on you when you're starting to recover.."

"I think I would have rather known that I might have to oh, you know, become a vampire or die."

"We're sorry," Jasper says, sending waves of calm towards me. "We never expected the Volturi to be around."

"I should have saw it..." Alice mutters, "There must be something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with anyone or anything." Carlisle says simply. Yeah yeah, leader of the clan.

"Okay, so will someone mind filling me in on all these rules and stuff?"

"Really, there isn't many rules," Edward grumbles, "Just keep the existence of vampires a secret from humans. Or face the fact that the Volturi will kill you for exposing the secret."

"That's lovely." I grumble.

"Yes, so that's why you have to become a vampire, because you know. So your choice is be one of us or die."

"What do you want to do though?" Edward asks me.

"I...I... I don't want to die." I say truthfully.

"You don't want to be a vampire though either, do you?"

"No, but if I don't become one, I die."

"Well, we could find a way around it." Edward says.

"Yeah, like we can just defy the Volturi like that."

"What if we... hide her?"

"They have Demetri, dumb ass." Emmett says.

"Can you guys just leave me alone for now..?" I ask softly.

"Yes, of course we can." Esme says, and they file out.

I just flop on my bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking about what will happen to me in three years time. I really don't know what I want right now...

I was quiet and still remained well mannered for the next few weeks following the visit from Alec and Jane. I also became quite jumpy looking around corners, or over my shoulder almost constantly. Now I'm paranoid of the vampires that might want to eat me.

I had figured out one thing though. I wanted to be a vampire, I really do want to be one. The reason is complicated though. I'm getting even closer to Edward now. Playing the piano with him is always fun. I can actually play a few things now, thanks to him.

"Bella?"

I jump, "Oh, Edward!"

"Sorry, I almost gave you a heart attack." he apologizes.

"It's fine." I smile at him.

"Not really, I wouldn't feel happy if you died from something caused by me." he huffs.

"Woah, Edweird, chill."

"You still insist on calling me that?" he winces.

"I may like you now, but I still like calling you that name." I give him a cheeky grin.

"Oh Bella, what am I going to do with you."

I got a good look at him right then, yeah, I've been staring before, too. Well. I certainly know what I'd like you to do with me, Cullen.

Bella, you just did not think that...

Oh yes you did.

Fuck my life.

**Review review review, if you'd like me to update quickly again. This is more just a filler chapter until I get some massive brain wave of an idea.**


	7. Surgery

**A/N: So, here's another chapter. I am severely bored. I even already did my homework, and what I want to see on the olympics doesn't come on until super late! I want to see the pair figure skating short programs. :)**

**Disclaimer: DEAR CANADA, YOU GUYS NEED TO GET OUT THERE AND WIN SOME GOLD MEDALS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.**

I continued to do well with the Cullen's, their place was definitely my permanent home and being with the Cullen's just became normal for me. It never bothered me that they were vampires, even though for a little bit it did bother me that I was going to have to become one, but then I got used to it, and now I actually want it.

I'm sixteen now, and in the tenth grade, and thanks to the Cullen's my marks average around the high B's-A's. Their help with schooling even made me smarter, the teachers were quite impressed with me and that made me proud. Over the past while I had also broken up with Chris and gotten out of the group of druggies and alcoholics. I will admit I do have a few shots every once in a while, because I can't be a one hundred percent perfect girl, and Emmett thought I was entertaining while I was a bit buzzed up.

Now after much convincing I sit in the room you sit in before you go to the Operating Room, and I'm not talking about the waiting room, I'm talking about the room where you change in to the stupid hospital gown and get the damn needle stuck in your arm before the surgery.

"Am I allowed to turn back now, Edward?" I whine, "Why was I even convinced in to this in the first place?"

"You were convinced in to this because you want to use your arm and hand again, Bella." he says, "You need this."

"No I don't, I've lived ten years without it." I say.

Then he smiles at me some, "You know that I'd love to hear you play the piano all by yourself. Just you, without me having to play either the top or bottom part for you."

That is true, I am a good piano player now, but I still need Edward to take the top or bottom part of a song because I can only play it with one hand.

"I still won't be able to play it right after surgery." I say.

"No, but once you get the physio part over with you'll hopefully be able to play."

"Maybe be able to drive, too." I say hopefully.

Edward groans, "We won't even go there, Bella."

I giggle a little as the friendly nurse that I've seen hit on Carlisle quite a few times walks in, "We're ready for you now, Isabella."

I flinch, "Bella. It's Bella."

"Sorry, Bella." she says with a smile as I get up, holding the back of my hospital gown closed with my hands. I hate these backless things.

Edward can't help but chuckle a little as I turn around and glare at him, "Can it, Cullen." and then I march out behind the nurse, with my IV pole. He looks a bit wise eyed and I just huff. Serves him right for laughing at me.

We go to one of the Operating Rooms, the one that my surgery would be in and that's when I start to shake. Okay, yes, the needle may already be in and everything but I am scared of surgeries...and I'm sixteen. I think I deserve an epic fail button press right there.

I look over at Carlisle, who is already in his scrubs, as I hop up on the stretcher and I do snicker some at him.

"Nice attire, doc."

"Hey, remember who's helping out with this surgery, Bella." he smirks at me.

"You can can it, too." I just grumble.

The other staff seem slightly amused by mine and Carlisle's interaction as they put the weird sticky tabs on my chest for the heart monitor, and then the anesthesiologist looks at me, "What flavor mask do you want? We have strawberry, bubble gu-"

"Strawberry!" I cut in, not even wanting to hear the other options.

"Strawberry it is." he says, and then puts the mask over my face, "Try counting backwards from ten."

"I know I won't finish it anyways but... 10...9...8.."

I was out as soon as I got to eight.

Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...

I make an annoyed whimpering sound because the beeping kept on interrupting my sleep that I was quite enjoying.

Then I heard light mumbling, too, and there was light starting to flood my vision. I groan and open my eyes completely, blinking a few times.

"About time." Edward says.

"I was sleeping." I murmur, my voice more a soft sighing sound.

"That much was obvious." Edward mutters.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asks.

"Tired..." I mumble.

"Are you in any pain at all?"

"No, I can't feel anything right now..."

"Probably the pain killers that I just gave you about an hour ago." he says.

"Yeah, sure." I say groggily.

Esme smiles slightly, "Honestly Carlisle, I don't think she really cares."

"Yes, I think I got that impression." he chuckles, taking my temperature, blood pressure and stuff. "She seems fine for now."

"When can she come home?" Edward asks.

"Around noon tomorrow."

"Can I go back to sleep? To be honest, I really don't give a crap about any of this conversation." I mumble.

"Of course you can go back to sleep, honey." Esme says.

"Again, the only person who understands." I sigh and allow myself to fall back in to a pain killer induced sleep.

I wake up again much later and notice that my room is completely light now, did I forget to mention that it's early September? So the summer lightness was still in the air. My surgery had been early in the morning, and now it was around 4 PM the same day. I wasn't as groggy now. I look down to my arm, it was in a brace, instead of a full on plaster cast. Well that's useful, at least I can take it off. That's also probably the reason for the brace.

No one was in my room right now, so I grabbed for the TV remote and flicked that on, automatically going to the stations with all the talk shows and stuff. Yes, I am a huge sucker for those shows, I always have been. I guess that was one thing that stood me apart from all my other fellow loser friends. I grin as the Ellen Degeneres Show is on. Now that show has class.

Then Emmett walks in to my room, snickering, "I can't believe you watch that show, Bella. All it is is a bunch of stupid stuff."

I gasp, "Oh no you didn't."

"Yes, I did." he smirks.

"There's hot celebs, or music stars, and stuff on it." Today, Adam Lambert is on. I like Adam Lambert, he is my secret favorite singer.

He looks at the screen, "Isn't that Adam Lambert, though?"

"Yeah, so?" I snort.

He shakes his head, "Never mind. Anyways, how are you feeling?"

"Alright." I say.

"Carlisle thought that, he shot you up with pain meds again. Man, anymore and you could legally get high."

"Um, that's lovely, but I doubt Carlisle would even attempt to get me high with pain medications."

"No, probably not. Unfortunately, though." he plops down in a chair.

"Where's Edward?" I ask.

"He's gone hunting, he'll be back around eight."

"Damn, it's four." I grumble.

"What, can't handle a few hours without Eddie, Belly?"

"First, don't call me Belly, second, I have claimed the right to call Edward pointless names, not you."

"Oh, yeah, you're definitely starting to feel a bit better already, you're feisty."

"Why thank you, Emmett. Thank you so much."

I just tune him out and continue to watch the TV until supper comes.

Ew, hospital food.

I refused to eat it, so Alice left to get me McDonalds. I love her.

**A/N: Ewww, it's hospital food, I hate hospital food, it is the worst possible thing to ever have on the face of the planet. In fact, I would rather eat McDonalds and that is saying something because I hate McDonalds so much. Hope I did okay with the chapter. Happy Valentines Day, too, people. Man, sad to think... I've been single two years as of today... ):**

Review?


	8. Changes

**Hahaha, I really do bad with the trying to update at least once a week thing. I fail epically at it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Unfortunately...**

Having movement again with my arm was quite weird for me, yet it gave me that sense of freedom that I was really starting to enjoy. I didn't need to ask Alice to help me with my hair when I wanted to do something different with it... Edward didn't need to play the piano with me, I could do it on my own. Yet I missed the fact that I couldn't move it... it was like a part of me. A battle scar, something showing that I was in a severe car accident, yet I came out alive...

"You're thinking awful hard about something, Bella." someone interrupts.

I smile. Esme. "Yeah, like usual." I say, getting up off of my bed, and trailing over to my closet.

"You haven't straightened your hair." she notes, "It's getting longer, too."

"Yeah." I say, digging through my clothes, "Esme, what do you think of this outfit?"

She looks at the blue tank top and dark denim skinny jeans in shock, "Bella, it's not..."

"Black or red? Yeah, I know that. Of course I'll still wear my black converse, and my black hair bow with the little skulls on it..."

"Well, it's certainly nice looking, then." Esme says, smiling at me.

"Good, then." I say, "I don't want to look bad, Alice might kill me."

I skip in to my bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and change in to the outfit I had picked out. It looks good on me, I look different, quite light. More happy looking. I feel happy, too. I like this feeling, it's the best feeling I've ever had. I run my hands through my just slightly curly hair, I still had my side bangs, that kept the slight emo effect. Yet it was more soft. I pin in the black bow with skulls on the same side of my head that the side bangs start.

I walk out of the bathroom, ready for the day, and Esme smiles at me, "You look nice."

"Thank you, Esme." I say, "I just feel really good today, and it's so bright outside...for once."

Which also means none of the Cullen's are going to school, gosh darn it. I wish they would be going, even though I'm not in the same grade as any of them. Edward and Alice are in the eleventh grade and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett are in twelfth. Me, I'm in the tenth grade, for the first time, too. However, I am extremely smart. So that works for me.

"Yes, it is. You should definitely be enjoying the sun while you can today."

"Yeah, I assume that you guys will be going hunting?" I ask, like this was completely normal.

I am the one who wouldn't have cared if the Cullen's were aliens or something, after all...

"Yes, actually, we'll be going for the weekend, but Edward is going to stay behind. He'll just hunt close by and be here by the time you get home from school."

"Alright." I say, as we head down the stairs.

"Good morning, Belly!" Emmett exclaims, lightly punching my arm.

"Call me that one more time..." I flex my fist, gritting my teeth.

"You only wish you could punch me, little girl." he teases.

"I will be able to once I'm eighteen or so." I shrug, "So ha!"

"Oh dear, I'm so scared." Emmett says in mock fear.

"You better be, Cullen." I glare at him, and walk in to the kitchen, looking in to the freezer and grabbing myself some chocolate chip waffles, which made all Cullen's shudder. I guess they don't approve of frozen waffles?

"Good morning, Bella." Carlisle says, giving my food choice a disapproving look. I guess I should be eating something more healthy for breakfast then? I pop my waffles in the toaster.

"Good morning, Carlisle." I say, smiling at him.

"I hope you don't mind, but you're not going to be going to school today."

"Oh? Why not?" I ask.

"You have to go for a physio appointment."

"Why do I need more of those?" I sigh, annoyed.

"You still need to improve the mobility a little bit more..." Carlisle sighs, "Besides, you're almost done with them anyways. You've worked so hard."

"Yeah, yeah." I roll my eyes.

"Remember, if you have the maximum mobility you can start getting driving lessons soon."

I hear a growl from the room the piano is in. Edward doesn't like the thought of me driving, he thinks I'll get in to a car accident and die. Idiot, I think I'll be able to drive wonderfully.

"Yeah, I will admit I am pumped for that part. Who's taking me to the appointment... it is kind of sunny, you know..."

"It'll be cloudy during the time of your appointment so Edward will be able to take you!" Alice says, dancing in to the kitchen.

"Woo hoo, tense and overly protective Edweird." I snort.

"You're nice to him." Emmett says, as I grab my waffles from the toaster and start to eat them.

"Yeah, I know I am. It's my favorite pass time."

"I thought playing the piano was your favorite pass time?" he asks.

"Yeah, that is, too, but you don't get a reaction that's hilarious out of talking to a piano, do you?"

"Well, if you're insane I suppose you could."

"I'm not insane, though." I say.

"That's what she said." Emmett smirks.

"That's just childish!" I roll my eyes.

"That's what she said." Emmett grins cheekily.

"Stop it!"

"She said that, too!"

"Emmett! Shut up!"

"That's what she said!"

"NOW YOU'RE REALLY ANNOYING ME!" I shriek, running out of the kitchen.

"SEE, I TOLD YOU SHE WAS CRAZY, CARLISLE!" Emmett yells.

"Emmett, that wasn't nice." I hear Esme say, as I run to Edward and the piano.

"I'm not crazy." I grumble to Edward.

"Well in that case I'm not tense and over protective." Edward says.

"Yes, you are." I say.

"No, I'm not."

"What, are you going to try and make me annoyed and upset, too?" I snap.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." Edward smirks some, "Come on, Bella. Get all your frustrations out on the piano."

"No. How about you just play me the lullaby you made me?" I ask.

"I'd love to." Edward says, starting to play my song as I sit down beside him on the piano bench, resting my head on his shoulder.

"It's so pretty." I say softly.

"Like you, when you aren't hidden under all that black and red." Edward smiles.

"Hey, I like those colors."

"I like blue on you the best, though."

"Really?" I ask him.

"Yes, I do. You're absolutely gorgeous in blue."

"Oh stop it, you flatter me." I say in the 'awee, shucks!' voice.

"Glad that I do, it was indeed my intentions." Edward says.

"Yeah..." I say, as the door shuts, and I hear the engines of the cars leaving the yard. Cullen's are gone for their hunting trip.

"So..."

Yeah, it's just a little bit awkward now... a weekend together. No big deal at all...

"There's a dance coming up..."

"Yeah, the spring formal, right?" I ask.

"Yes, you're right, the spring formal."

"Yeah, well what about it?"

"Are you planning on going?" Edward asks.

"No, but Alice will probably make me go. She's evil."

"Well... do you have a date or anything yet?"

"No. Why would I want a date to a spring formal? I hate dancing and obviously you'd have to dance if you have a date. Why would you ask...?"

"I was wondering if you'd give me the honor of taking you as my date to the spring formal, Bella?"

"Um..." I blush, "I...don't...know..."

Oh gosh, I really really really like him... but I don't know. I really don't know!

"Will you at least think about it, then?" he asks calmly, but I know he probably felt let down.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do that. Um, excuse me a second, now that I don't have to go to school today, I think I'll go...sleep...until we have to leave."

Or go and have a freak out.

**A/N: Ouu, what will Bella do? I'll try and update this again before the weekend is over, I'm not really sure. I have a few projects to finish and I might be going out with a few friends if I feel better. I've got a cold...**


	9. Awkward

**Aha! I am writing another chapter, when I should be finishing up my project, but it's super easy, I could have it done in 30 minutes. It's something for Greek mythology.**

**Disclaimer: I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas! I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas!**

Spring Formal... with Edward?! Won't that be weird, I mean heck I love him and all but... I don't know. I didn't expect that he'd actually ask me out to a dance. I don't dance! He might not like that, and then he'll think of how horribly odd I am and then dump me right after the dance. Wait, dump me? What are you thinking Bella? He didn't ask you OUT he asked you to go to the dance with him. There's a difference there, isn't there?

I pace my room, biting on my nails, a new habit I developed when I got nervous or scared. A lot better than some of my old habits, I can tell you that for sure. So, should I say yes? If I do say yes that means I'll have to go dress shopping and shit, and I completely hate dresses. What the fuck do I do?

I sigh and then walk back down the stairs, to where I'd find Edward as usual. With the piano. That thing is his baby.

"I thought you were going to go back to sleep?" Edward asks.

"I... didn't." I say.

"I know." he smirks a little.

Stupid vampires, "Yeah, well... I'll go to the Spring Formal with you, then."

He smiles, "Very good, I was hoping you'd say yes. There are a lot of other people who wanted to ask you to go with them. Now that you're actually starting to lighten up and all."

"Oh." I say, "Well, you don't need to worry about them, then. You got to me first."

Edward raises his eyebrows, "Would you have gone with one of them had they of asked before I did?"

"Well..." I blush, "I really don't know..."

"Don't you now?" Edward asks.

"Um...no." I say uneasily.

"Well, if you wanted to go with one of them, you can. I really don't mind." Edward says, just a bit stiffly.

"Oh! No! Of course I want to go with you, it's just, I wasn't expecting you to ask that question, Edward." I say awkwardly.

I think things were a lot easier when I made fun of him, thought I hated him, and called him Edweird. It was definitely easier, then.

"Oh, okay, then." Edward smiles, relaxing his tense body.

"You know, I am right when I call you tense and over protective." I mumble.

Edward just shrugs and starts to play the piano again, quite softly, and I hum along to the song. Esme's favorite song. I had heard it so many times since I started to live here. It's a pretty song.

"We'll have to leave in about an hour." he finally says.

"Alright." I sigh, "That's cool..."

"We can go somewhere after the appointment if you want."

"Sure, I guess so. It doesn't really matter to me."

"I'll pack a lunch then." he says.

"So you mean that we're going to have a picnic somewhere? In the sun? Edward, people will see you!"

"Relax, Bella. I know what I'm doing."

"Um, no, apparently you don't because you're being stupid." I say.

"Bella, do you trust me?"

"Do I have any reason to trust an idiot?"

"Emmett's the idiot who should go untrusted, not me." he reminds, "I'm the person who you call tense and over protective, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, I guess so." I sigh, "I'm going back up to my room. I need to take closet inventory."

"Closet inventory?" he snorts, "You're starting to sound a little bit like Alice."

"There's no way I am going to ever sound like Alice." I say, "Ever."

He just smirks at me as I glare at him, and then run up to my room, and to my closet. There's an overpowering amount of black, red and grey. I think, I might need to change that a little. I certainly won't be wearing any pink... but maybe I should get more blue? Some green and stuff, too? Edward says I'm pretty when I'm not hidden under black and red...

I look through my more dressier clothing, but nothing there would be appropriate for a Spring Formal, so that does mean I am going to have to go shopping with Alice quite soon.

Just then my cell phone rings, indicating I've got a text message...

**From: Alice Cullen, 9:30 AM.**

_Yes! We're shopping as soon as I get back, Bella!_

I sigh out loud to myself, of course she'd predict that. She's always looking out for things that include me and an excuse to take me shopping. I don't even reply to the text.

*~*~*

My physio appointment went fine. I'm actually doing better than they thought, which means that I can probably start getting driving lessons soon. That I can SO not wait for!

Edward then took me to his meadow, and we had a picnic there. Well, I ate the food, and he did the talking. It was kind of interesting. I was allowed to ask him anything I wanted. Anything at all, and he'd answer me.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"What color dress do you think would be nice on me?"

"For the Spring Formal, you mean?"

"Yeah...kinda..."

He smirks, "Why not just let Alice decide, she is master shopper after all."

"No...I want to know what you think."

"Well then, honestly, I think something like yellow, or a royal blue would be nice on you." he tells me.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah, of course." he says, "Although you can go and get a black and red dress, seeing as that's like, so 'you'."

"Um... well... I think I'll just look around at them with Alice..."

"That would be the best idea, I think." Edward says, and he kisses my cheek.

WHOA!

Edward Cullen just kissed MY cheek and made ME blush bright red! WHOA. My heart beat speeds up, and I look dazed.

"Um...yeah...I'll do that... yep."

He smirks, "Maybe I shouldn't do that."

"Oh, no, feel free to." I stutter, "Or, well, I mean it's um... no...problem?" I end on a squeak.

"I flatter you, Bella."

"Do not, Edweird." I finally compose myself.

"Yes, I do. You were completely and totally infected by that kiss on the cheek, weren't you?"

"No, I was not. You just have a big head."

"Oh, do I now?" he asks.

"Yeah." I say, stiffly.

"Dance date still on?" he asks.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I ask.

"Don't know..."

"Okay..."

Awkward.

**A/N: So, yeah, the next chapter is so going to be the dress shopping and spring formal, 'cause like, that's cool. Haha, I sound like a prep with all the 'like', but I'm not :)**

**Review?**


	10. I'm Kissing Edward Cullen

**A/N: I'm sick again today, so I thought I'd write some more...**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I don't know what I'd do. If I ever get through school, I vow to become a therapist/councellor and end depression/drug abuse/addictions in teens.**

_Sometimes, not all things can stay good. Not all things can stay cheerful. There'll always be something that'll bring you back to earth, and take you to the reality, that life isn't perfect. No one said that life would be easy, however, they always said, that it would be worth it._

It's a few weeks after Edward asked me to go to Spring Formal with him, and a few weeks after I accepted that invitation. Now Alice and I are heading off on a shopping day trip to Seattle, I suppose this could be interesting. I need a little pick me up. Lately I've been having flashback dreams of the car accident that killed my mother and left me without usage of my right arm for almost ten years. I can't sleep much when I start getting dreams like that, it's disturbing to me.

I yawn and stare out the window of the car, watching the scenery flash by, even though Alice was going by the speed limit today, because Carlisle told her to after her mentioning something about seeing us get in a car accident if she speeded. I totally freaked out, then.

"Bella," Alice says, "Snap out of it. I've been asking you a question for the last five minutes."

"Oh, sorry, Alice." I smile some, "What do you want to ask me?"

"Well, I can't get a clear vision on what you're going to be wearing, so I was wondering what color dress you wanted? Do you have an idea or anything?"

"Well... I was kind of thinking of maybe a royal blue or something?"

"Not black?" Alice asks me, "Not that I disapprove of royal blue..."

"No black, it is a Spring Formal after all. Black doesn't exactly seem like a color to be worn at Spring Formal."

"Or it could be because Edward said that he liked royal blue on you." Alice says, cheerfully.

"Shut up, if he said that he liked pink on me I certainly wouldn't be going out and buying a pink dress, so you can just shut up."

"You like him, Bella."

"No, he's weird. Really really weird. I don't even know why I'm going with him to the Spring Formal. Probably just so I won't hurt his feelings." I was blushing though.

"Oh, come on. You know you're lying, you're blushing, Bella."

"Well, I turn red when I'm mad." I say.

"You aren't mad though, you're just in denial."

"I am not in denial, Alice. Will you stop trying to hook me up with your brother?"

"I'm not trying to hook you up, in my opinion, you've kind of hooked yourself up, just by saying yes to accompanying him to the Spring Formal."

"No, I haven't, Alice."

"Alright, whatever you think, Bella." she giggles, "Whatever you think."

I just cross my arms and put my earphones in my ear, listening to my iPod for the rest of the trip, completely ignoring Alice. Not that she seemed bothered by me ignoreing her. She was getting to take me shopping, nothing depressing about today for her.

Finally she parks at one of the malls in Seattle and drags me in to the first dress store she sees, and I sigh, quite annoyed when she starts throwing me in to all these different frilly and girlie things.

"Alice, stop, I told you nothing like this." I say, gagging at a frilly pink dress I had just walked out of the dressing room in.

"Oh, but Bella, it looks so nice on you!" she says, making me do a little twirl.

"It also makes me want to shove needles in my eyes." I say quite blankly.

"Well, that sounds just lovely." she snorts at me.

"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" I ask, going back in to the change room and pulling off that dress. "Can we go to a store less frilly...?"

"Yeah, fine." Alice sighs in defeat, "but there's this really pretty purple dress with a pink bow-"

"No, Alice." I cut in, "Absolutely not."

"Oh, lighten up, Bella." she sighs, as I walk out of the change room in my clothes, that aren't insanely bright and preppy looking.

"Alright, moving on to the next store." I say, "Any... _vibes _as to where we should go next?"

"Yeah, actually, I am getting a bit of a vibe." she grabs me by me sleeve and practically drags me to the next store.

It seems better to me. I look around it, at at some of the different colors that were in it. Mostly blues, greens and yellows. Alice already has at least five dresses for me to try on, but I have my own ideas. It was a royal blue dress, it has spaghetti straps, and the top is triangular, like a bikink top might be. It was an empire waist, and directly in the middle of the empire waist line was a diamond shape, and it was weaved. The waist line 'band' was silky, and the rest of the dress was really flowy and airy. Light fabric. It fell just at about my knees...and it came in black, too. However, I wanted the blue one. **(A/N: The dress I am describing is my Semi Formal Prom dress for this year, therefore I do have a picture, and might post it as my 'profile' picture at some point if you're interested in seeing it. I'm not that good at describing...)**

"Oh, that dress is nice." Alice says, "It's kind of simple, though, don't you think?"

"Yeah...but you can match it with some nice jewelry and shoes and then it'd be very nice." I try to reason with her.

"You want to try that dress then, don't you, Bella?"

"Yes, I do." I say, grabbing one in my size and heading over to the dressing room.

I try that dress on, and I absolutely love how it looks on me. It softened my look quite a bit and really did make me look pretty.

"Bella," Alice calls, "Hurry up! I want to see the dress."

"Alright, Alice." I say, and walk out of the changing room.

"Oh, you look nice." she grins, "You actually wear simple things quite well."

I snort, "Oh shut up. You don't need to be a vampire to pull off the simplest of things."

A human actually heard me say that and Alice's eyes go quite wide, the same with mine. "Yeah, nice expression...or... um, something. I often hear people at the high school using that now. You're starting to become an android like the rest of them."

"Oh, yeah." I say, following along, "Really. I should learn how to get my own style."

"Yes, Bella." Alice rolls her eyes, "Now, is this the dress you want? I can tell you really like it, and I think Edward will like it, too. Not that that matters to you, apparently."

"Yeah, I want this dress, I really do love it."

"Good, now we can buy this one, go shoe and accessory shopping, and then go and buy you some new day clothing."

I groan.

Just the part I really hate. The normal 'day wear' shopping. Can life be any more annoying at the moment? Yes, yes it can be.

*~*~*

It's the night of Spring Formal already. It came so quickly, just like tenth grade came so quickly, as well as my 16th birthday and other random crap. Next year will be my grade 11 year, wow...

"Bella, stop squirming!" Alice complains as both she and Rosalie (a.k.a the Queen Bitch) work on my hair, curling it with a curling iron, because all my flat iron use seems to have straightened and contained my hair quite considerably, even though you may as well say it's officially fried.

"I'm sorry, but I hate people messing around with my hair! You know that." I whine.

"You can't have it straight tonight, though. It needs to be curly and pretty. Keep your hair natural for once, it's gorgeous that way."

"Ew." I say, blandly.

"If you sit still we'll be done a lot quicker." Rosalie says, and although I couldn't see her at the moment, I could tell she was rolling her eyes.

"Oh shut up." I say, quite simply.

Yeah, she and I still do not see eye to eye, and I doubt we ever will. I don't associate with Queen Bitches, they annoy me.

Finally they get done with my hair and Alice quickly applies a thin layer of make up, and looks me over with a piercing eye.

"Yeah, you look good. Edward will be pleased."

"Like I say, I'm not worrying about pleasing him."

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Emmett yells.

"STOP LISTENING IN ON MY CONVERSATIONS!"

"FOR WHEN IT'S A KINKY CONVERSATION...THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

I glare at Rosalie, "Why you married _that _is beyond me."

"SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT, THOUGH!"

Rosalie rolls her eyes, "Oh, I'll get him for that later, and Emmett, don't you dare say 'That's what she said' again, or I'll give Bella full permission to murder you when she's a vampire." with that Rosalie walks out of my room.

I strap on my shoes and head downstairs, where Edward was sitting in the living room with Carlisle and Esme.

"Bella." he says, looking up and smiling.

"Edweird." I greet him, in the same tone he greeted me in. Which means it was nice.

"Even on Spring Formal night." he shakes his head.

"Sorry, but you know that's just what I'm like."

"THAT'S WH- OW!" there's a sound of a few things shattering and then, "Awe, Rosie, babe!"

I can't help but snicker as Esme and Carlisle sigh. Probably wondering what they ever got themselves in to. Yeah, guys, for taking all of us in, you have to be pretty stupid.

"You look lovely, Bella." Esme says, finally.

"Yes, very pretty." Carlisle agrees.

"Thanks." I smile at them.

"They're right, Bella." Edward speaks up, "You're stunning."

"You don't look so bad yourself, Cullen." I wink at him.

"Yeah, well, are you ready to go?" Edward asks.

"I'm ready if you are." I grin.

Yes, no 'That's what she said!' this time.

"Good." Edward says, taking me by the arm.

We get in to his silver Volvo and he turns on some music. I hum softly along to it as the car purrs to life.

"Oh, and I'm just letting you know... I'm not dancing."

"That's fine. I consider it a triumph just getting you to go to the dance with me."

"Yeah, don't count on it all the time, hot stuff." I joke.

"Hot stuff?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh come on, you can't deny you're good looking." I shrug.

"Okay..." he says.

The rest of the car ride is silent until we get to the school, and Edward parks the car, and then gets out, opening my door for me, making me blush. I should be use to it, though. Everyone opens the door for me. I guess it's just something with those old fashioned males.

Edward cons me in to dancing with him but in a more secluded area, which was alright with me. Even though I really can't dance.

"You know, you really do look beautiful tonight." he tells me, making me blush even more, and then kissing me fire red cheeks.

"You know, you're really flattering me, Cullen. It should be illegal."

"Illegal to tell a beautiful girl just how beautiful she is?"

"Yes." I say simply, as he then kisses my forehead, "Will you stop that?!"

"No." he says, and then gently presses his stone cold lips to mine. My eyes widen, but I find myself responding to the kiss, my arms already around his neck.

Holy Hell... I'm kissing Edward Cullen.

**A/N: Heh, I just had to do that. I'm not sure when I will update again, just giving a fair warning, because I'm falling back in to depression again, and I just feel that you people who read this story deserve to know. If something ever should...happen... my friends have passwords to my accounts and what not, so yeah. Live, Laugh, Love and never do anything stupid.**


	11. Oh No, Not There

**A/N: Well, hi there. :P**

**Disclaimer: I'm going to Eclipse on Wednesday, and Taylor Swift in 12 days. I have no idea what that has to do with me not owning the Twilight Copywrites, but anyways. I don't own Twilight ! :(**

I return home with Edward after the dance, only to be jumped by Alice as soon as I get to my bedroom. I sigh and just stare at her as she bounces up and down like a little retard. Will some one just get her the fuck out of here? I want to go drown myself in my shower for actually kissing him. It really isn't right, at least, in my mind it isn't right. I don't know about him...

"Did you really kiss him?" Alice squeals, jumping up and down.

"Alice, will you please shut up?" I grumble, "I don't want to talk about it. It's really stupid and I don't even know why I kissed him. I don't like him anyways."

"Bella, you always say that you don't like Edward, but you know that you really do."

"No, I don't." I say, still trying to deny it.

I've denied it all along but I'm sure Edward would like to deny it, too. There also has to be some part of him that thinks that all of this is wrong. Every little bit of it is all wrong. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of. For the first time in my life, I am really afraid to have my heart broken. I won't say I'm in love with him yet, just simply infatuated. Yes I am infatuated with Edward Cullen. It's just puppy love, seeing as I have never really liked someone. I was only with my last boyfriend because he had access to alcohol and drugs. We were drinking and drug buddies, that's all...

"Well, I think that you're just being stupid. I can see that look in your eyes. You've got _that _look."

"What look?" I snap at Alice.

"You've got the I'm in love with him, but I don't want anyone to know I am, so that way if something happens it won't matter as much type of look, Bella."

"Well, aren't you smart and on the ball with these things?" I grumble at her.

"As your sister it is my job to know all these things." Alice says proudly.

I sigh, "Oh fine, I like him." I have for a long time. God damn it.

"See, I knew that." she giggles, "I knew you were going to say that."

"Oh, will you shut the hell up?"

"No, I won't." she says, grinning. "I am going to shout your love for Edward to the whole house, and then all of the town."

"You have got to be kidding me, and don't you think if there was anyone going to should my love to the whole house and all of the town it would be me?"

"No, you'd never do that, unfortunately. I know you well enough to know that that will never happen."

"Well, I'm glad you know that much about me." I look at her, "Do you mind getting out of my room? I need to get undressed, take a shower, and then go to sleep. It's late and I still do have school tomorrow, you know."

"No, you don't. There's going to be sun yet again tomorrow, and we're going to take you with us this time. We're actually going up to Alaska, so you can stay at the Denali's while we go hunting."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me! We're going to see Tanya of all people?" I whine at Alice.

"Don't worry, I think Edward dislikes this more than you do." Alice snorts.

"No, no one can dislike this more than I can. I don't want to be anywhere near Tanya. I hate her with a passion." and she does like Edward... and that bothers me.

"Well don't worry, if you need to go all emo over this, you can go emo over it with Edward. No big deal."

"Just get out of my room, please." I snap at Alice.

She laughs and slips out of my room, and then I go to do my nightly routine to get ready for bed. However, after I'm showered and dressed my pajamas the routine becomes slightly altered.

"I don't want to go to fucking Alaska." I grumble, as I kick around some text books on my floor rather angrily. Yes, I still do have a bit of an attitude. Sue me. So does every other teenager, pretty much. "Alaska is fucking stupid and good for nothing. God fucking damn it."

I continue to kick random items that were laying on my floor around my room, and finally someone knocks on my door. It was Esme. Oh dear..

"Bella, if you continue to swear and go on like that, I'm going to have to ground you." she says firmly, but still with that kind and mothering tone of voice.

"Sorry, Esme." I grumble and stop. Well, that ruins my fun.

She walks in to my room, and hugs me, "Come on, Bella. It's only for the weekend. There's no harm in that. We know Edward would take you over Tanya any day. I don't think he appreciates her falling all over him all the time." she smirks a little.

"I still don't want to go, mom. Can't I just stay home alone?"

"I'd rather you not..." she trails off.

"Don't you trust me, mom?"

"No, it's just if any vampires do happen to come in the area, they'll pick up your scent, come here and you'd be left unprotected." she sighs.

"I've stayed home alone before." I reply.

"Yes, you have, but only for a few hours."

"Please can't I just stay here alone, just this once?" I plead.

"I said no, and that's it." Esme says.

"I hate my life right now.." I grumble.

"No you don't, you're just saying that because you can't get your way. Typical teenage thing." she smiles wryly.

"True enough, but still..."

"Bella, honey..."

"Yes?" I ask.

"Just do yourself a favor and go to bed. You'll think differently in the morning, once you've got some sleep, and the chance to think about some things."

"I doubt that." I mumble, but get in to bed anyways.

She just sighs, "Do you want anything to eat or drink before you go to sleep, Bella?"

"Milk and cookies please, mommy?" I bat my eyelashes.

"Cookies aren't good for you at the rate you eat them, Bella!" Carlisle yells from his study.

"I don't care about your opinion, dad!" I shout back.

"Of course you don't." he yells back.

"Glad you got things all figured out!" I snort, and then look back to Esme. "Please?"

"Yes, alright." she says, "No more for a week though."

"That is just cruel." I sigh to myself, as she leaves to get me what I wanted.

"It isn't cruel at all." Edward walks in.

"Oh, and who gave you permission to come in here, Eddie Boy?"

"Door was open." he shrugs, "Anyways, it is unhealthy."

"Eh, I'll be a vampire soon enough anyways."

"First vampire with high cholesterol." he laughs at me.

"Shut up, won't you?" I ask, as he walks over and hugs me.

"No." he smirks, and also pecks my cheek, "Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward." I blush, as Esme walks back in to the room, and smiles.

"Leave the poor girl alone now, Edward." she shoos him away.

I laugh, as she hands me the cookies and glass of milk, "Thanks."

"No problem." she smiles and pats my hair, "Bed now, Bella."

"Yes, ma'am." I say, and salute her as I lay down, and sigh.

I lightly close my eyes and drift off in to my own little dream land.

**A/N: There, that's not much, but it's enough to get myself on track again. :) Hope you all are having a good start to Summer.**

**Songs I listened to during this chapter:**

**Wavin' Flag- K'naan.**

**Celebrity Status-Marianas Trench**

**The Climb-Miley Cyrus (Hate MC, but love that song..)**

**Dressed To Kill- New Found Glory**

**Rude Boy-Rhianna**

**California Gurls-Katie Perry.**

**I shall update soonish ! :)**


	12. Well,That Wasn't Weird Or Anything

**A/N: Hey again! :) Who all saw Eclipse and thought it was totally awesome? * Raises Hand ***

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah...twilight...blah blah blah... don't own it.**

I sat down stairs on top of my small suit case of my stuff that I'd need for my 3 hell filled days in Alaska. We were all in the living room, waiting for everyone to be ready. Of course Alice takes the longest because she can never decide what outfit she wanted to wear. My sister is such a fail.

"Can't Edward and I just stay here?" I ask again, "Please?"

"No, Bella." Carlisle says, with a tone of finality.

"I don't like them, though!" I snap.

"Someone's on the rag." Emmett snickers.

"Oh, will you shut up." I grumble, "I'm not. I don't want to go!"

"Join the club, we can make our own t-shirts." Edward grumbles, even he was in a bad mood about this.

I pull out two plane white t-shirts and some colored sharpies, "I bought this stuff for the car ride there, I'll make our t-shirts for us."

The others stare at me and I shrug as Edward actually snorts, "Well, someones prepared."

"Nothing rude on the shirts, please, Bella." Carlisle sighs.

"Don't worry, it won't be."

Alice finally comes twirling down the stairs and Jasper chuckles and pecks her lips, "It took you long enough, Alice."

"A girl never knows what she needs until the last minute." she shrugs.

"Alice, you can see the future, number one." I say, "and number two, that's so not true."

"Are you willing to actually bet against me, Bella?" a smile plays on her lips.

"No." I say and look down.

Carlisle sighs, "Alright time to head out, we're late enough as it is."

"You're vampires, how can you be late?" I snort.

"It's possible." Rosalie shrugs.

"No, all you've got to do is speed your little way through the highway, avoid the interstate police people and you're all good." I shrug right back at her.

"How do I live with this kid." she gets up and walks out, with Emmett following, and they're the first to speed off down the drive way.

"Who am I going with?" I ask.

"Me." Edward grins.

"Perfect, I'm sure you'll get more entertainment out of the shirts than Carlisle and Esme will."

"Will I?" he chuckles, as he takes my bag for me and grabs his own, not that the vampires need much. Stupid perfection.

"Yes, you will." I say, completely confident.

It was a joke though, but a joke I was definitely going to like. Edward and I went down to the Volvo and put the stuff in the trunk, but I kept my shirts and sharpies with me and my pillow. It was going to be an overnight drive, unfortunately. I hate long drives, they really bother me.

Edward opens my door for me and I blush, getting in the car, "You know that you don't need to do that, right?"

"Yes, but I do anyways." he smiles crookedly and gets in the drivers seat, the Volvo making that familiar sound as it springs to life. Edward steps on the gas pedal and we're off.

"When are we going to stop for supper?" I ask him, "and where?"

"You're thinking about food already, Bella? Do you ever stop thinking about food?"

Yeah, that's one little bad habit I have. I always eat..and eat...and eat...and EAT.

"Well...this is me we're talking about here, isn't it?" I ask.

"Yes, I suppose so. We'll probably stop and eat just a bit outside of Vancouver, that's about another 3 hours or so from now. Can you live with that."

I pat my still shockingly flat stomach, "Oh, I don't know. I might shrink away to nothing by then. That wouldn't be good. You'd be so devastated without me, wouldn't you Edward?" I mock.

A look just flashes across his face as his eyes train on the road, "Don't even joke about that, Bella."

"What, you'd actually really miss me?" I snort.

"Of course I'd miss you, Bella." Edward says, "I don't exactly go around kissing girls I hate. Actually, to be honest, you're the only girl I've really kissed."

"Are you sure that you're over one hundred years old, then?" I snort.

"I'm positive." he says, as his hands grip the steering wheel just a little bit tighter.

"Alright, shutting up now." I mumble, as I look at the two white shirts, take the sharpies out of the package and begin to draw and write.

Three hours didn't take long to pass, and by the time we had got to Vancouver I had finished my creations. The one with Edwards size said 'I'm with the sarcastic one' with an arrow that would be pointing at me. The one for me says 'I'm with the up-tight one' with an arrow that will be pointing at Edward. On the back of his I wrote 'Property of Bella, one touch and be prepared to die.'and on mine 'Property of Edward, I can't guarantee I won't get all up-tight and snotty if you upset her'.

Edward looks at the shirt, "You're a very good artist and all, and your printing is wonderful, but do you expect me to wear that, seriously?"

I make a face, "I just wasted a whole three hours on my remaining human life to make these. Don't you want to make those hours worth while?"

"I'll put it on once we get to Denali, then. How about that?" he sighs.

"Awe, I love you." I say, sweetly.

Edward snorts, "Don't try the sweet stunt, it really doesn't work for you Bella, not at all."

"I know." I sigh, "Pity. When are we stopping for food?"

"How about now?" he asks, pulling up to a McDonalds, "I won't tell Carlisle and Esme, I promise."

"Edward, now I really do sincerely love you!" I squeal, as he parks the car and I almost stampede out of it before the engine is even turned off.

"You don't love me, you love the McDonalds." he rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, well, same thing." I say, as he walks in behind me.

I order my food, which is quite a bit, and even up-size my soda and my french fries to a large and then finally walk with my tray to a table. Edwards phone rings and I look over at him.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" I ask.

"It's rude to answer the phone during supper time? It's only Alice anyways."

"Only Alice?" I snort, "You never know, it _could _be important."

"I suppose so, but I highly doubt it, Bella."

"Just answer the damn phone, _Edweird._"

He sighs, "Fine." then he flips his cell phone open. "Yes, Alice?" he asks. "Wait? What? Well then we're not going." I stare at him and he just waves a hand at me. "No, the hell with what Carlisle says for once... alright, fine. We'll keep an eye on it, then. Yeah. I know that." he sighs, "Talk to you later."

"What was that all about?" I ask.

"None of your concern, just finish eating." he tells me, "The faster we get to Alaska, the faster we get to leave Alaska, right?"

"Right..." I say.

Yeah, okay, that's not weird or anything...

**A/N: Ohh, what could it be? Obviously Edward doesn't seem to like it, at all. We'll have to see next chapter.**

**What I listened to when writing this chapter:  
The Scientist-Coldplay**

**Valentines Day-Linkin Park**

**My Wish-Rascal Flatts**

**Never Gonna Be Alone-Nickelback**


	13. The Vampire With Red Eyes

**A/N: And here I am again. Writing yet another chapter, for I am trying to finish off these stories before the Summer is over. Haha.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. I don't own it. You know it.**

We had been driving for another hour or so after Alice had called us in McDonalds and the atmosphere in the vehicle was very tense. I was actually very quiet for once, which is shocking, seeing as I'm normally blabbing my mouth away.

"Edward?" I finally ask him, "What were you talking about, and does it have anything to do with me?"

"No, nothing at all." he says, as he tightens his hands on the steering wheel yet again and speeds up. Driving even faster than our already really fast pace.

"Edward, slow down please?" I ask in a small voice, as my hands grip the edge of the seat, "You're going really fast..."

Even though I was only six when I was in the car accident that killed my mother I was still terrified of extremely fast vehicles, even though I knew that Edward or any of the Cullen's wouldn't crash, I needed them to go a little bit slower than usual.

"Right." Edward says, absent minded, "I'm sorry, Bella."

"It's okay." I say, as he slows down the speed by about ten mph. I stare out the window as we whip past all the trees and the greenery.

"You should sleep or something, Bella. By the time you wake up we'll probably be in Alaska."

"No, Edward. It's only 9 PM, I am not going to sleep now. That's what time I had to go to bed at in like, fourth grade, maybe."

"You need at least 8 hours of sleep or more a night though, you know that, right?" he asks.

"Yes, I know that, because Carlisle tells me that all the time. Do you actually think I am going to listen to that, though? Is there any teen who actually gets that much sleep?"

"I'm sure there are a few somewhere." he chuckles.

"Well, they're losers." I shrug.

"Oh, Bella, whatever will we do with you..." he sighs.

"You can do whatever you want with me." I wink at him, trying to lighten the mood up. I hate when things are so tense.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't say things like that, Isabella."

"Hey, since when was I Isabella?"

"You were Isabella since now." he says, "Now go to sleep." he snaps at me.

I stare wide eyed at Edward and then look back to the window, just staring out it for a while. Eventually I just turn on my iPod and listen to music. Not long later I fall asleep, without another word.

"Wake up." Edward lightly shakes my shoulder. I shivered, I was really cold. Meaning that we must be in Alaska.

"I don't want to wake up." I yawn, "I'm cold..."

"It'll be warmer in the house if you'd just wake up and walk in." Edward sighs, a bit impatient.

"No." I groan, and shift in the seat, facing another way.

"Bella." Edward taps his foot.

"Close the car door... I'm freezing..." I trail off.

"Just get up." Edward sighs.

I just make a weird sort of grunting noise and then totally go out cold again, just as I feel someone pick me up and walk in to a warmer place with me...

"Okay, Bella, now it's really time to wake up, sweetheart. You've been sleeping for the last five hours and you need food. You haven't had any since supper time yesterday." Esme's voice disrupts my sleep.

"Just another five minutes, mommy?" I yawn, and roll over.

Esme actually snorts, "Mommy? Nice try, Bella, but no. Get up."

I sit up and rub my eyes, "It's so cold here... I always sleep more when it's really cold."

"We've all noticed." she smiles at me, "It's alright though, you deserved that extra sleep. Edward said you had a nightmare last night."

"I had a nightmare?" I ask, blushing, "I don't remember that..."

"I suppose you're too tired to remember. You just kept going on about some vampire, apparently."

"Oh," I say, "Well, I would love to elaborate, but I don't remember a thing, at all."

"It's alright, honey." she says, offering me a heavy sweater, "Come down to the kitchen to get some food, won't you?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll do that..." I say and then sigh, "Can anybody tell me what Edward and Alice were talking about yesterday?"

"It's nothing to worry about, honey." Esme says, calmly.

"Alright..." I trail off, "You all know that I hate being kept in the dark."

"Sometimes you're best kept in the dark, sweetheart. What you don't know won't hurt you."

"Yeah, I suppose so." I say, as I head downstairs with mom. Her arm was wrapped around me, holding me close to her side. I was kind of glad... I had actually never met anyone from this coven before, I had just heard about Tanya and instantly hated her. She wants Edward, but guess what, girl...vampire...thing. So do I.

The two of us head in to the kitchen where people were just kind of standing around and talking to each other, exchanging information and what not. Everyone turns around and looks at me and I smile shyly.

"Oh my, I think we need to video tape this." Emmett says, "Bella's quiet and shy, for probably the first time in her life."

"I am not, Emmett." I stick my tongue out at him, and Rosalie rolls her eyes. I look around, trying to put on a confident look. "So, who's who around here?" I looked at the one that was pretty much falling all over Edward. Well, I obviously know who she is...

"Oh, Isabella!" she looks at me, "I've heard so much about you over the past year or so you've spent with the Cullen's! I'm Tanya, welcome to my coven's home."

"Um, yeah...thanks." I say. Yeah, I might actually like her if she wasn't all over Edward and if her smile didn't seem more fake than a freaking Barbie doll. "Call me Bella though, please..."

The girl who had been talking animatedly to Alice looks at me with an actual genuine grin, "Hi, Bella! I'm Kate!" she says. Okay, yeah, I like her.

"Our other sister is away at the moment." Tanya says, winking slyly at Edward as he rolls his eyes, but keeps on smiling politely, "I'm sure you'll meet her soon enough, though."

Another woman walks up to me, she appeared to be Hispanic or something of the sort, "Bella." she smiles warmly, "Welcome, dear." and she hugs me. Wow, she's kind of like an Esme, that's weird. I thought that I'd never find anyone else like Esme. She pulls back, and then nods her head to another man, "This is my husband Eleazar."

"It's nice to meet you all." I smile at all of them, even Tanya.

I must prove to everyone that I can be polite to the one I've claimed I've hated ever since I found out that she has a thing for Edward. I just hate her even more now seeing as I do really like Edward and he's already kissed me and all that stuff.

"Bella, you must be hungry." Carlisle finally says, "Is there anything specific you want for breakfast?"

"Can I have pop tarts?" I ask, sweetly.

"No, Bella. That's not really a healthy breakfast."

"Come on, daddy." I whine.

"Don't you just love how she does the whole 'Please, daddy and mommy?' thing when she really wants something." Emmett snickers to Jasper.

"It is very amusing." Jasper can't help but snort. He doesn't really come near me often, but I really do like him for an older brother. I know he likes me, too.

"Bella, pick something else that has some proper nutrients." Carlisle tells me.

"A bagel and cream cheese, then?" I sigh. "Please?"

"Now that is do-able." Esme smiles at me, and Carlisle nods.

"Much better."

"Yeah, yeah." I sigh.

I actually look around the whole room and then look at a vampire who had been sitting in the corner. I think he had been there the whole time, I had just never bothered to notice because of my hostility at Tanya. His skin was olive toned and flawless and his eyes... his eyes were red. I gasp and then back up to my mother, as her arm wraps around me again.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asks, and then her eyes follow where I was staring at.

"Oh." she says softly, "Don't worry. He won't hurt you. He's a friend, Bella. His name's Laurent."

He nods at me and flashes me a smile, but I just whine softly and bolt up to the room I had left. I hate red eyed vampires. I'm sorry.

**A/N: Hm, so is Laurent the possible problem? Let us see.**

**What I listened to while writing this chapter:**

**Pray For You-Jaron and the Long Road to Love**

**Watcha Say-Jason Derulo**

**I'm Yours-Jason Mraz**

**Don't Stop Believin'-Journey**

**Wavin' Flag-K'naan**

**Man I Used To Be- k-o's.  
**


	14. Can't Be Trusted

**A/N: Here goes another chapter for today. Well, not another chapter for today. It's 2 AM, which makes this my first chapter of today.**

**Disclaimer: Yawn.**

Not too long after I had quickly retreated to my room there was a knock on the door, but I just remained under my covers like a scared little kid.

"Bella?"

It was Carlisle.

I didn't answer back though, I just curled up even more tightly under the blankets. I don't want to come out. That Laurent guy gives me the chills... I don't really get a welcoming feeling from him.

"Bella, answer me." Carlisle says sternly.

"What?" I squeak.

"Open the door." he says.

"No, you open the door." I tell him.

"Fair enough." I can hear him sigh. The door opens and he walks in, shutting the door behind him again, "Won't you come back down stairs please? Laurent is a friend, Bella. Not an enemy."

"He drinks human blood..." I say softly, "I'm a human."

"He's learning our way, Bella." Carlisle promises, "Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you, but I don't trust him." I say, still refusing to move.

I feel like such a loser... I went from a loud mouthed alcoholic teenager who also smoked stuff like weed to a semi quiet, semi decent type of kids. Unlike back then things actually scared me. Maybe it was just because back then I was always too high to give a crap about things in life, but now I pay attention to everything around me. Knowing this whole new world had made me a lot more cautious and after the visit from the Volturi I was still quite jumpy sometimes.

"I'm not asking you to trust him, I'm just asking you to come back down stairs, Bella. Everyone else is there, you're going to be perfectly fine."

"Can I just stay up here a little longer?" I ask, as he sits on the edge of the bed, and lightly pats my back.

"You still haven't had your breakfast yet." he tries to reason with me.

"I'm not all that hungry anymore." I tell him honestly.

"Bella, I can assure you with every fiber of my being that you are perfectly safe here." Carlisle replies.

"Well I can assure you with every fiber of my being that I'd much rather stay up here in this room a little longer." I sigh.

"I'll get Esme to bring you up your breakfast then, can we at least make a deal there?"

"Yes, I'll agree to that." I say.

"You are a very rebellious teenager, aren't you?" Carlisle sighs.

"Not as bad as about a year ago." I say.

"That is very true." he says, "I'm going back downstairs, your mother will be up soon with your food and I want you to eat all of it, do you understand me?"

"Yes, doctor. Or what are you going to do, stick me in the hospital because I didn't eat a bagel? Oh my, I'm so scared."

I finally come out from under the blankets just as he shakes his head at me, "Some things just don't change, do they?"

"No, not really. Sorry." I smile cheekily at him and then start to twiddle my thumbs. I really don't want to be here. I was starting to feel alright until I saw Laurent and then I just became scared and uneasy.

Carlisle chuckles, "I'll see you later today, Bella. Once we're all done hunting."

"Have fun, dad." I say, "Kill a moose for me, won't you?"

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." he says and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I flop back down on the bed and my eyes look over at the window, there was a huge snow storm outside at the moment. I don't think anyone should be out in that, vampire or not. That's nasty.

"Bella." mom walks in, a bagel on a plate with strawberry cream cheese on it in her hands, "I've got your breakfast."

"Thanks." I say, as my stomach growls. "Sorry for leaving so quickly..."

"It's alright, sweetheart. We all understand." she assures.

"As long as your sure... I am trying to be as good as I possibly can be up here."

"I know you are, Bella. I've seen the effort you've made. It's very good, seeing as yesterday you were having a fit about having to come here."

"Yeah..." I trail off and start to nibble away at my food, "Thanks."

"Not a problem, dear." Esme replies, "I think I can trust that you'll eat, so the others and I are going to head out for a few hours. We're going out hunting now. You'll have the house to yourself for a bit and Carmen said you could feel free to take a look around if you felt like it."

I smile, "Tell her thanks and that I'll think about it."

"Alright, dear." Esme says, "and the bathroom is just down the hall. Knowing you, you'll probably want a shower."

"Yeah, I will." I hug mom, "Try not to get blinded by all that snow, alright?"

Yeah.. that's sort of a bad joke...

She just laughs and walks out, leaving me to my devices... and at one time that could have been a very dangerous thing to do. About five minutes later I hear vehicles leaving the driveway, but they weren't speeding because of all the snow. There's bound to be black ice and having some type of car accident wouldn't exactly be the best thing to happen in the middle of a blinding snow storm.

I continue to nibble on my breakfast as the clock slowly ticks away the seconds that pass by. It's very rhythmic and I kind of like it. I was always a person who didn't mind the silence, or the types of things that you can normally hear in the silence. I get up off the bed and go to the window, the wind was rattling it and I couldn't even see outside through the snow. I bet once it stops snowing and you can see again everything would be very pretty.

I take my plate and decide to go back down to the kitchen. I set my plate in the sink and then decide to raid the cupboards. I was kind of hungry still... instead of junk food though I just decided to go and get an apple from the fridge. If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, does that also mean it keeps my nagging father away? He is a doctor after all.

I sigh and lean back on the counter and the power flickers slightly from the storm. My eyes dart around the room though, because I am a very nervous person. The power does go out and I let out a small shriek and freeze in spot.

"What the..." I whisper to myself.

Did I just see what I thought I saw?

"No, Bella... you're just paranoid. Calm down." I tell myself out loud.

"Actually, child, you were very smart to be wary of me." Laurent steps out of the shadows, from the exact place I thought I saw the gleaming of red eyes.

"Aren't you suppose to be with the others?" I ask him slowly.

"I went so far with them and then when I thought it was the right time, I doubled back to the house." he says, slowly licking his lips. "I just can't help myself, you smell so _delicious."_

"You know, I don't think they'll be happy with you if you kill me because you can't get yourself together." I say, wanting to step back, but there was nowhere to go.

"I'll be long gone before they even try to catch up with me." Laurent says, cornering me.

"You don't want to do this." I say, starting to shake.

"Yes, yes I do." he says, as he carefully moves my long hair away from my neck. Exposing it.

I lightly close my eyes, "Alice will see... they'll be here any moment now."

"Alice will not see, for I have not made my choice to do this until right now." he says, as he leans in towards my neck.

Then another figure appears in the room and I shriek, "Edward!"

Laurent turns around, fire in his red eyes as he turns back to me for a moment and slashes his hand along the right side of my body and pushes me backwards, _hard _in to the wall. My knees buckle and I fall to the floor in pain as blood gushes from the huge gash and I gasp for air. He had slashed from the collar bone right down past my ribs, and my head had been hard hit in to the wall.

Edward looks at me, and there was a frenzied look in his face as blood pools beside my body and Laurent was pretty much going wild. I pass out as the two of them engage in battle. If it was Edward battling to save me, or the both of them fighting over my blood, I really didn't know...

**A/N: Bella was definitely right about Laurent. I think this just proves that sometimes the Cullen's (Minus Edward and maybe Jasper) are a little bit too trusting at times.**

**What I listened to while writing this chapter:**

**Not Afraid-Eminem**

**Puke-Eminem**

**Big Weenie-Eminem**

**My Immortal-Evanescance**

**Can You Feel The Love Tonight- Elton John**

**Almost every song in the 'How To Save A Life' album by The Fray**

**A bunch of songs covered by the Glee Cast**

**Jesus of Suburbia- Green Day**

**Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Green Day  
**


	15. Questions

**A/N: I haven't even been up for a full hour and now I am back at the writing again. Hi!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, well I mean, I own a copy of the movie and the book, but that's about it.**

I groan in pain as I try to take in my surrounding just by feelings rather than opening my eyes and looking. I had a feeling that if I opened my eyes and tried to look around that would probably bring me to a whole new level of hurt. Best just to lay unmoving with your eyes closed. I hear whispers around the room that I seem to be laying in. I wonder where I am?

"She's going to be opening her eyes soon." Alice says softly, "Actually, I think she's awake now, but just not opening her eyes yet."

"It's about time..." Edward says stiffly.

"She probably would have been up sooner if you didn't keep pressing the morphine button every time she whimpered in pain, Edward." Carlisle says.

I slowly open my eyes, and look around and my vampire family crammed in to a hospital room, "That should have been Emmett's job." I say very softly, "He always said he wanted to see me really drugged up."

"Bella." Edward says, already at the side of my bed. He takes the hand that didn't have a cast encasing it. It did have an IV in it though, but Edward's careful. "How do you feel?"

"Kind of sore..." I say.

"This is why you don't belong in this world." he grumbles, "You get hurt here. Look what happened to you. It could have been avoided."

"No, Edward... I belong here. Now don't argue with me while I'm on my death bed, it's rather rude." I try to joke, but not even ONE Cullen cracked a smile at that. "Well, okay then, be like that..."

"Bella, I don't think you understand the extent of your injuries, or how close we were to loosing you one week ago." Carlisle says solemnly.

"One week ago?" my eyes bug out of my head.

"Yes, you were out of it for one week, sweetheart." Esme says.

"Well...isn't that lovely." I say as I shift a little in bed and then wince slightly.

"Try not to move." Carlisle advises.

"Yeah, well, you stay in the same spot for about one week and then tell me if you'd want to move a different way or not." I tell him.

"Well look at that, she's still a snappy teenager while even on her apparent death bed." Emmett says.

"Indeed I am." I say, as Edward sighs.

"You need to be a little more serious about this situation, Bella."

"Oh, so what do you want me to do, scream and cry over being attacked? That's not the right way to deal with it, if that's what you're trying to say."

"You should be at least scared or something by it." he says, frustrated.

"Edward, I am scared. I'm really scared, but that doesn't mean I'm going to act like a baby over it. What's done is done. There's nowhere to go but forwards. Now, will someone tell me what the hell happened after I blacked out, please and thank you?"

"We tore Laurent apart and burned the pieces." Jasper says simply, "However this causes some tension with our cousin clan. Laurent was Irina's mate."

"Irina?" I ask, curiously.

"The sister that you didn't get the change to meet." Carlisle says.

"Oh, I see." I say, "and what happened to me?"

"Carlisle took you to the hospital here, and here is where you've been since." Edward says.

"Lovely." I sigh, looking around. I wince again slightly and everyone almost instantly looks at me.

"More painkillers." Edward says, almost instantly.

"No, Edward, I'm fine." I insist, "Really, I am."

"No, Bella, you're not fine. You're in pain but you're just being really stubborn."

"Dad, I don't need any more painkillers." I complain to him.

"Does anything hurt?"

"Well, yes, of course." I say.

"Does anything hurt any more than when you first woke up?"

"A little bit, yes..."

"Just take a little more and then go to sleep for another few hours then." he says.

"I've already pretty much slept for a week." I sigh, "Do I really need to sleep more?"

"Sleep is crucial to a speedy recovery." he says, as Edward presses the morphine button for me.

"You know, I think that the button is for me to press and not you. I really wanted to press the button, Edward."

"Oh, trust me, you press enough buttons without pressing that one." he says under his breath as my vision already starts to get foggy, and then I'm out.

Another week and a half later I was finally released from the hospital and we could finally make our trip back home. I went back in the car with Carlisle and Esme though. Edward was kind of angry with me, I guess he doesn't like the fact that I'm handling it so well.

"Well, now there's another topic we need to discuss, Bella." Carlisle says.

"Yes, what's that?" I ask him.

"When do we change you?"

"Um, when I'm 18, like planned?" I ask.

"Well yes, that is still an open option but I was thinking perhaps we should do it sooner just to avoid any other possible attacks like that one."

I shake my head, "I'd rather wait until I'm 18, Carlisle."

"It's not really all that far away now, you know, but if that's what you want."

"It is what I want." I say.

He nods his head and I sigh picking up the book that I had bought at one of the gas stations there before we left. It looked boring but it would keep me entertained for the car ride. If I was with Edward I wouldn't need any entertainment at all. We'd just talk until I said something that made him furious and then we'd stop talking and sit in silence, or he'd put on his pretty classical music.

"Are you comfortable and everything, Bella?" Esme asks, interrupting me from my reading.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say, saving my page and setting the book down, "Thanks for asking."

"No problem, dear. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright back there."

"Yeah, I'm good." I say, trailing off.

I grab my iPod and put an earphone in my ear and turn on some classical music. I'll listen to this and pretend that I am in Edward's car with him.

I am so fucking hopeless.

I hated him and he hated me and now it's just super complicated at times. I really do hate this. Especially because I actually need him so much. I want his approval or that crooked smile as he just shakes his head and laughs at me. Or even that slight look of frustration when he just can't seem to figure me out. I need all of that more than anything. Even more than I want Carlisle and Esme's approval, even though their approval does mean a lot to me these days.

I like that feeling I get when I know that I've actually done something right and people can also tell that I've done well. It makes me feel so accomplished. Something that I want to accomplish is winning over Edward completely, but some how it just doesn't seem like I've managed to do that yet. It's disappointing... maybe me not showing that I'm scared of vampires is disappointing too.

I really don't know.

**A/N: Well, yeah. There's another chapter..woo.**

**What I listened to during this chapter:**

**Cha Ching-Hedley**

**For The Nights I Can't Remember-Hedley**

**Perfect-Hedley**

**On My Own-Hedley**

**I Run To You-Lady Antabellum**

**American Honey-Lady Antabellum**

**Need You Now-Lady Antabellum**

**Bleeding Love-Leona Lewis**

**Better In Time-Leona Lewis  
**


	16. Awe,& I Just Got Him To Kiss Me

**A/N:... *peeks in * Ummm... hi? If anyone still reads this :P**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm not SM. You're shocked? Really? Awe, I'm flattered.**

Fucking Edward still won't talk to me and it's really starting to piss me off right about now. He still can't get over what happened to me, even if I already have. I mean really, I got attacked and I highly doubt I ever fucking will again. He makes me so furious, I could just go and strangle some innocent stranger that's how angry Edward makes me these days.

Does anyone know how pathetic I am? I'm sitting here pining like a puppy who hasn't seen their owner in a few days. Just wallowing away in self pity. All over Edward, stupid fucking Edward!

I jam my fists down on the piano keys, causing an atrocious sound as I jump to my feet and storm to the stupid vampires room.

"Listen to me, and listen to me now." I snarl, "You either man up and talk to me again right now, or when you do decide that you want to talk to me in the future I will pretend you never fucking existed to me. You're being a damn idiot over all this, and to be frank, you're pissing me off you stupid door knob. Get a brain and grow some balls."

With that, I turn around and slam his door shut behind me and going to my own room and plopping down on my bed. Also making sure to slam my door loudly, just for the mad drama affect. I then proceeded to kick my wall, all because life fucking sucks and is unfair to me, but of course... life sucks, and then you die.

"Fucking idiot vampire loser." I grumble to myself, grabbing my homework and slamming my binders down on my bed. "Fucking fucking idiot."

"Potty mouth pollutes the air, Bella." Edward steps in to my room.

"You pollute the air, and make me in a nasty mood, yet I don't inform you of it."

"Not directly, but indirectly you do." he says, with a slight smirk as he sits on the edge of my bed, "I just don't think you really took what happened seriously."

"No, I didn't at all, because I'm such a stupid naïve little human." I say, sarcastically, "Right? That's what you think about me, isn't it?"

"Well clearly you're overreacting and putting a bunch of things in my mouth that I didn't even say." Edward says, smoothly.

"It's what you think though, isn't it?"

"I never said that, did I?"

"No, but you're acting like a total idiot towards me!" I snap, "It's making me mad."

"I can tell that, and decided to come talk to you before you go in to a rage and destroy Esme's house."

I j just glare at him, "Well you sure took your fucking time."

"Language, Bella."

"You're not my parents." I snap at him.

"Nope, but Carlisle and Esme could easily ground you. You know they still hate that terrible potty mouth of yours."

"Well I'm mad."

"Then you use things to get your anger out, without harming the house or our piano."

I softened slightly at the part about the piano, giving him a small grin, "I don't think I hurt the piano."

"Lets hope not." he cringes.

I sit down beside him on the bed, quietly and put my hand on his cold one and then he takes it gently and holds it. I guess it was our silent little truce and that was alright with me.

"Edward?" I ask.

"What is it, Bella?" he gives me a crooked smile.

"Who pulled the stick out of your ass and made you loosen up?"

"...I don't know what I see in you." he sighs.

"You actually see something in me?" my heart almost jumps a bit.

"No, I care about you so much and want to protect your humanity because I hate your guts and wish I could kill you on the spot." he kisses my cheek.

"Well, I suppose if you protected my humanity you could just be saving me as a little snack box so when you really feel evil and pissed off you could just take a little snap at me, drink me dry and then I'd die?" I reason.

Edward tenses, "Yeah, that will never happen."

I shrug, "I guess that's good to know then, isn't it?"

"Very good to know." he agrees lightly, and puts an arm around me.

"Oh, well aren't we getting close." I snicker at him.

"Knock it off, Isabella."

"No use of the full first name is permitted..." I trail off.

He chuckles, "I just used it though."

"Now I will violently murder you." I bat my eyelashes, "Edward?"

"Yes?" he asks, looking at me.

"Will you kiss me? You kinda haven't kissed me since the dance."

"Thought you only wanted it to be a one time thing because you 'didn't even like me, and don't even know why you kissed me', hm?"

"I lied?" I bite my lip, "and I really like you..."

"Well, hm, I don't know if I can kiss you..." he trails off.

"Just fucking kiss me!" I snap at him.

"Hey, just ask nicely." he teases.

"Don't make me try and slap you, boy." I threaten.

"Then I'd be taking you to Carlisle with a broken hand, so I'd advise that you don't try and slap me. Might not be very good for you."

"Edward!" I whine at him.

"Alright, fine." Edward replies.

I grin as he cradles my face in his hands and leans in pressing his lips softly to mine. I respond to the kiss and he smirks slightly against my lips as I smile. He soon stiffens though, after being a little too close for a few minutes and then pulls away from me. I frown slightly, but then grin brightly at him.

"You trust me a little bit too much..." he sighs.

"I trust you a lot, but if you tell anyone I might have to kill you when I become a vampire. Just saying."

"I'll be looking forward to that."

"Oh, you most definitely should be."

"You have homework, right?" Edward changes the subject.

"Yeah, I do. I have a lot tonight, actually."

"Then maybe you should go and do it." he tells me, "Right now."

"Yeah, I guess so." I sigh, softly, "Stay and help me with some of it? I'm kind of confused..."

"Can you ask someone else?" he asks, sighing.

"Well, I guess I can..." I sigh.

"Good. See you tomorrow." he ruffles my hair and walks out of the room.

Aweh, come on! I thought I was actually starting to make some progress with him! It's going to make me so bad, and now I won't be able to concentrate on my school work because I'll be pissed over Edward...and I just got him to fucking kiss me! He kissed me and then he fucking just walks away like it's nothing!

I want to fucking kill someone.

**A/N: Yep...here's your update. Take it and run! Run like the wind! **


	17. Oh Crap

**Yeah, I lied about updates and all that again! Blargh, I hate High School it takes up all my time, I may as well just move in to the school library, I'm basically starting to spend most my free time there as it is...**

**Disclaimer: I'm 16 in 15 days, do you think someone as young as myself would own the copy rights to something such as the Twilight Saga?**

I look around the school cafeteria, it was crowded as usual and full of the normal cheery talk of the High School students sitting down to eat their lunches. It was sunny out today so of course the rest of my family wasn't here. I wish that I was able to go away on the little 'camping trips' with them, even though it would actually mean I just get to sit at home for the day. Carlisle remained here in Forks with me, the others had gone up to Canada and were actually going to stay a few days. Great three days of school by myself, that's actually highly disappointing. I like having the security blanket of the Cullen's always around to have my back, but sometimes the small things like the sun happen to take them away from me.

Life really does suck sometimes.

I grab my tray absentmindedly and get my totally disgusting cafeteria food, making myself wonder why I just didn't start to bring myself my own lunch just to save myself from this torture that the school forces upon it's students. Would it hurt to make some half decent tasting food at an at least half way reasonable price? Probably would to them.

I go to a corner of the room, hoping not to draw to much attention to myself because most likely everyone will be asking me where the Cullen's went. You'd think after a while of them disappearing on sunny days the people would actually get the point that they do go away to go 'camping'. Of course they wouldn't though, leaving me to deal with all the questions. I noticed that the spot I had chose to sit in was the exact spot where my ex boyfriend and I always sat together, it was kind of secluded. No one ever really paid mind to you there.

I couldn't help but to let my mind wander to Chris. He was certainly in a spot that I wouldn't like to be in, during the time that I've been with the Cullen's his addictions and problems have become worse. His brother eventually got locked away and he didn't have access to all the stuff he once had and resorted to stealing to get the money for what he wanted. Now Chris is in juvenile prison, and when he's released he'll go to a home and will be placed on probation with all the curfews and stuff that honestly sucked. If I didn't get rescued by the Cullen's would I have been like him, too? Locked up in juvie and facing probation upon release? I certainly hope that my previous 'self' wouldn't have let it get that far, but I wasn't so confident that I would have stopped it. I was so different back then and even though I still face my troubles now, I know it would have been worse.

"Bella?" someone asks me, pulling me from my thoughts.

Well, that's sure a rude interruption, and who on earth would be talking to someone like me? I look up and my jaw almost hits the floor.

"Mike?"

"Yeah, hi. We have some classes together." he says, sitting down across from me.

"Yeah, we do." I say, shifting uncomfortably.

"You looked kind of alone." he comments, "A bit flustered, also."

"Yeah, I was thinking, something I've realized is very value so hey, do yourself a favor and don't do drugs, okay?" I make a move to get up, but he just stares at me.

"Where are you going?" he asks me.

"To eat."

"Wasn't that what you were just doing?"

"Yeah, until you got here."

"Do you not like me or something?" he asks me.

"You've never really talked to me before until now. Despite the odd 'Hi' in class, that's all I've ever gotten. I don't take kindly to people who just kind of, oh, I don't know... sit beside me because they most likely want to ask where the Cullen's are." I snap.

He looks kind of guilty, "Oh, well sorry then. Didn't think it would strike a nerve that badly, but we could be friends."

"Sorry, if you haven't noticed I'm really the anti social type of girl. Don't take it personally." I say, "However, just remember it. Now if you excuse me, I actually have a head ache now and think I am going to go home so I can go lay down." I grab my school bag, and start to walk off, without even taking my tray with me.

"Hey, you forgot your-"

I cut him off, "Eat the stuff if you want it, I'm not hungry."

Actually, I really am kind of hungry but I just wanted to get out of this school...it seemed to unfriendly to me when the Cullen's weren't here. I've grown up in Forks my whole life and I've known all these kids since I was little. I was friends with all of them too, but when I got older and more bitter and began getting in with all the wrong sorts, that's when they all shunned me. They pushed me to the side and they hurt me, instead of being a friend to me they just cast me away.

Some friends they are.

A few attempted to try and talk to me since I slowly started to become normal once again but I refused to speak with any of them. I enjoy being socially outcast as long as I have my group of Cullen's. It's all okay with them around.

I stalk off to the nurses office and the nurse looks up as I walk in and I just nod politely to her, "May I use the phone? I've got a headache and just want to go home and lay down."

"You can lay down on the cot here until it passes." she offers, politely.

"No, I'd like to go home, thank you."

"Of course then, whatever you think is best for yourself." she inclines her head to the phone, "You can use that one."

"Thank you." I say, politely and pick up the receiver, dialing home. Carlisle works the night shift, so he'll be home right now.

"_Bella?" _he asks, in shock. Knowing that the only person calling from the school nurses office would either be myself, or the nurse.

"Dad, I'm coming home." I sigh.

"Why, are you sick or something?"

"Headache." I say, quietly.

"Headache, or do you just need a mental health day?" he replies.

"...Maybe the last option." I mutter, with hesitation.

"Alright, come home then. You can drive yourself, right?"

"Yes, I can and my car is here after all. No way I am leaving my car here!"

He chuckles, "Be quick, while still obeying the speed limit then. Tell the nurse I gave you permission to come home. I'll just give you a note to take in tomorrow, if they need official confirmation."

"Thanks." I hang up, and look at the nurse, "My dad said I could go home. He said if I need a note he'll send it along with me tomorrow." with that I head out, before evening listening to what her response to that would be.

I go to the parking lot, finding my car and starting it, speeding out of the parking lot headed towards the house. One habit I picked up on was the Cullen's speed, especially for when they're in cars. I love it, it's the best thing ever. Makes me feel kind of rebellious without frying my brain in the process.

I floor it on the gas peddle and watch the speed on my meter consistently continue to rise at a rapid rate, I grin to myself and then turn on the radio, blasting the music. I look in to my mirror and see blue and red lights flashing behind me and the sound of the sirens on the cop cruiser.

Oh my fucking shit...

Carlisle and Esme are going to kill me.

**A/N: Just thought there needed to be some action that wasn't really something to do with Bella and Edward or Bella and any type of vampire for that matter. Now, what's going to happen to poor Bella? Will she just get off with a warning, or will worse happen? O:**


	18. I Cried Myself To Sleep That Night

**A/N: Hi! I'm updating again...obviously. Thanks to people who are putting this story in their favorites. Any chance you might be able to give me a few reviews now?**

**Disclaimer: Don't own this.  
**

My heart instantly started to beat faster as I saw the officer get out of his car in my mirror and I knew that my circumstances were rather grim at the moment. Actually they looked like I could actually be grounded for eternity, literally. The officer that pulled me over knew who I was, he and I have had run ins a lot back in my more rebellious druggie days and he hated me, I could tell.

I roll down my window as he steps up to it, "Drivers license and registration."

"Yes, of course." I say, fumbling around with the papers on my dash board and getting my license out of my wallet. I hand the items he requested to him, and a small smirk appears on his lips.

"Well, well, Isabella Swan. I do believe we've met before."

"We have." I say shortly, staring down at my feet.

"Just give me a moment, I've got to go put this in to the system." he says, and walks back to his car, getting in the seat and doing whatever. I've decided I don't really care what he does right now. He returns not too long later, though it felt like quite a long time to me.

"You do know that you've have five other careless driving tickets?" he asks me, and my fists clench the steering wheel.

"Yes, and I've paid the tickets, so I'm sure they shouldn't be an issue now, should they?"

"Clearly the people who are your guardians now haven't figured out that you're speeding all the time, have they?" he muses, amused, "Don't you think they should know?"

"They know." I say, confidently.

"If they knew you'd think you'd be a little more careful while driving, wouldn't you?"

"Hmm, I suppose you would." I say, nonchalantly.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to take your license away, and impound your vehicle."

"Wait, then how am I going to get home?" I ask, frantic, "My dad, nor any of my other family members are in town at the current moment."

Well, Carlisle is around but he can't come out in the sun and oh my goodness, I am going to be grounded for such a long time. I may never see the sunlight again...

"Then I guess I'll just have to take you to the station then, won't I?" he says, "Step out of the vehicle."

"You're telling me I'm under arrest for speeding?"

"Yes, I am." he says, "Now, step out of the vehicle."

"No!" I exclaim, "I will not step out of the vehicle, I refuse to!"

"Then I can just pin on a charge for resisting arrest."

I grumble some not so nice words to him and step out of my car and I follow him to his as he opens the door to the back seat for me, and I get in, glaring at him the whole time. Not even 30 minutes later I'm sitting on a chair in the Forks police station in a corner. They had no good reason to put me in a holding cell. I didn't do anything.

Carlisle was furious when I called him, but that was to be expected. He also said no one could come here to get me until later on tonight, so that means I'm stuck here the whole day at this stupid place. I begged him to talk to the officer and tell him to just let me leave and that I had permission to get a taxi home or something, but he refused. _Maybe by staying there, you'll learn your lesson. _

What lesson will I be learning? He and the rest of the family speed all the time and they get off with it like it's nothing. What makes me any different, aren't I a part of this family now? Shouldn't what goes for them go for me too? I guess not.

I look at one of the officers who was staying at the station for the day and doing paper work, I think Charlie knew this dude. "Hey, can I at least use my iPod or something? Seeing as I'm stuck here for an eternity."

"It's not an illegal item, so I don't see why not." he says, grimly, "Hey, sorry about the other guy. He just doesn't seem to like you for some reason."

"I've noticed."

"Ah, don't worry, the Cullen's are good people. You're also an okay kid once you're off all the stuff you've done in the past. Charlie would be proud, I think."

"I kinda thought you knew Charlie. You were vaguely familiar in my mind."

"Yeah, I knew him. Good man, Charlie was."

"Agreed." I tell him, and then tune in to my iPod. I sure hope the battery doesn't die any time soon...I may pull my hair out.

I look around the office that I was sitting in, it was overflowing with papers and different reports and a huge wall of missing people. Probably cases that never ended up closed and probably never will get closed. Kind of sad, really. The rest of the place was boring, kind of what you'd expect a small town police station to look like. Hard to believe this was the very place that my biological father worked at.

Aren't I too young to be feeling kind of nostalgic?

I just wish a Cullen would show up soon and save me from this personal hell, but I know that isn't going to happen any time soon.

After about two hours I got really bored and leaned my head against the wall, my eyes slid closed as I drifted off to sleep for a little while. I had dreams of Charlie and Renee, but they were good ones. All the happier memories of when the two of them were alive. Fuck, I wished they were alive now. I want my real parents back, and I want that normal family. Maybe even a few brothers and sisters would have been kind of cool.

Not like that will ever happen now.

I snap out of my fantasy dream land and notice the time still hadn't really passed that much. I'd have to wait until at least 10 PM here, and it's only 6 PM. Four more long hours to go, and I'm getting kind of hungry now. The officer that my dad knew looks up from his desk.

"Care for some cold pizza? I ordered it for lunch, but one guy can't eat a whole large pizza. You must be hungry."

"Yeah, actually I am pretty hungry, thanks." I say, groggily, "I didn't even eat lunch today, actually. I left school because I wasn't feeling all that great and just wanted to get home..."

"Ah, I see. Well that's no fun." he hands me a slice of pizza.

"Not really."

I start to nibble on the slice and it takes a total of an hour for me to eat one slice of the greasy triangle, though it's a very good greasy triangle. My stomach finally stopped growling, but my iPod had died, life really kind of sucks today.

At exactly 10 PM the door opens and in walks Edward, though he didn't really look like a happy person at the moment. I just gave him a weak smile, and stood up.

"Take me home now?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't be asking to go home. Carlisle is furious. Five speeding tickets? Bella, what the hell were you thinking!"

"I paid for them!" I exclaim, "It's not as if they're unpaid."

"I don't even think that matters, you're so irresponsible." he snarls at me.

"Sorry..." I say, my voice barely audible.

"You'll be more than sorry. Come on." he heads towards the door, and then turns back to the officer, "Thanks for watching her." he says, shortly, and then walks out.

I follow him and with hesitation, I get in to the Volvo and buckle my seat belt. I hope Carlisle acts calm like he normally does. Though I won't see him until tomorrow, he's on shift now. Though I know Esme won't be happy.

She wasn't, either.

"I am so disappointed in you." she sighs, as soon as Edward and I walk through the door of the house. "Bella, you can go to your room now, and Carlisle and I will decide your punishment tomorrow after school."

I look down at my feet, and the tears threaten my eyes. I'm a fucking cry baby now! One time something like that would never bother me, "I'm sorry..."

"I know you are, but that still doesn't change anything." she says firmly.

"Yeah, okay, bye and goodnight." I head up to my room, and I don't even bother with my homework, it was too late now to get it done. I just shower and plop down on my bed, crying myself to sleep that night.

**A/N: Poor Bella. :( I picture myself being the kid with the overly large amount of speeding tickets.**

**Review? :(  
**


	19. Complications of Humanity

**A/N: I guess if there is anything slightly convenient about being ill, it would have to be that I am able to write some more. Though that's only convenient for you readers at the moment,because once I return to classes, it shall be homework (and catching up homework) city for me.**

**Disclaimer: If I were author of the Twilight Saga, I'd make having to read drivers hand books illegal, because they're boring. I'm not though, and I don't see how even being the owner of it would affect that, but ah well.**

Being myself I would complain about being grounded and not being able to drive and being cooped up in the house all the time, but I couldn't bring myself to dispute it or complain about stuff like that any more. The punishment, sadly enough and even though I do hate to admit it, was fair. Though life was awfully boring now that I couldn't go for random drives or anything to get out of the house when I was totally bored.

I sigh and head down stairs, the house was basically empty except for Jasper being around just to keep an eye on things. Esme was out in Port Angeles for the day, shopping for stuff and the others were hunting and then being dragged to one of the malls in Seattle to go shopping by Alice. Emmett wanted to play laser tag so they were going to a laser tag course, as well. I really wanted to go to one of those, but sadly, I was still grounded.

The terms of my grounding weren't really that awful but to a teenage girl, they were definitely boring ones. I go to school, I come home and do my homework(now that school has started up again. Yes, I was grounded the whole summer), help Esme make my supper and then eat. I have to have a perfectly clean room every day and take out the trash (gross.) and then once all that is done I am allowed access to the internet, cable and what not. I'm just not allowed to go out shopping or to the movies or anything. For the time being I am also not allowed to drive and even when I am allowed to drive again, one of the Cullen's must be in the car with me.

I head to the piano and sit on the bench and pull out my favorite music book. It was all contemporary stuff and that worked well for me, though I had mastered all songs in the book. I'll have to speak with Edward about picking up some new music books because I took out all my vented up frustration by playing the piano.

My fingers glide smoothly over the keys, and I sigh. Something I've been doing too much now, lately.

"Someone is unhappy." Jasper comments, leaning up against the door frame.

"Bored." I reply, giving up half way through a song.

"They'll start letting you do things again soon, Bella." he assures.

"Yeah, I know. I'm not complaining."

"That's why they'll start letting you do stuff soon."

"What?" I ask.

"You're not complaining, and one time you'd be cursing up a storm and sneaking out. You've learned responsibility for your actions, Bella."

"Perhaps." I mumble.

"You know, you were actually allowed to go to Seattle today."

"I was?" I ask, "Then why didn't I get to go?"

"Complications."

"Complications like what?"

"Complications like the Volturi are beginning to complain about you remaining a human, and with your 17th birthday fast approaching we were wondering your opinion on being changed sooner than your 18th birthday. Normally Carlisle would talk about something like this, but where I am the one with the calming abilities should you happen to get scared, we thought maybe it was best that I spoke with you about it."

"I can't wait until I've at least graduated?" I ask, "I mean, I am in the eleventh grade now."

"You've just barely started it, Bella."

"I know, but I want to wait."

"Bella," Jasper addresses me, "we know that you'd rather wait, but you remaining human is going to be dangerous for us as well as you. We took you in because Carlisle had heard what you'd been going through and the stuff you did. We wanted to save you from the life that you were living. Even you know if you kept on the path you were on, you were going to end up dead early. That group your boyfriends brother was involved with is dangerous and that's where you were getting your supplies. We took you in to save you from a premature death even though we knew we'd have to change you in to a vampire. You're a part of this family now, so why delay it even longer? Don't put yourself in danger." he sighs, "Don't put the people you love in danger."

"When would I have to get it done?" I ask, softly.

"Whenever we can stop Edward from protesting about you being changed." Jasper sighs, "Oh and Bella, you will be able to graduate high school. Many times over."

I suppress a grin, "Why doesn't Edward want me to be changed?"

"He thinks you deserve your humanity. He always disliked that Carlisle and Esme took you in, but I guess Carlisle saw something in you to choose you. So now that you're stuck with us, Edward is just going to have to suck it up." Jasper chuckles, "Don't take anything personally from my brother, but he is a bit of an ass to you sometimes because he's in love with you. I can tell the feeling is mutual between the both of you."

"Well, if I have to be changed in to a vampire, do you know what I want?" I ask him.

"What is that, Bella?"

"I want to get the chance to play laser tag as a human."

"I don't think we'll deny you that."

I smile at Jasper, "I would hug you, but I know what might happen to you if I did."

"You can hug me when the others are around, how about that?" he suggests.

"Oh, I don't know, that might make me seem like I'm going all softie like."

"You are." he says, "Now come on, how about we go out for something to eat. I think you deserve to get out of the house right now. You're being a good kid."

I grin at Jasper and follow him out of the room and to the garage. I expected him to go to one of the cars, but instead he stood by a motercycle and my jaw dropped. He can't help but smirk slightly at me as I admired the the awesome piece of work. I never really paid much attention to it until now.

"Want to go for a ride on this?" he asks, "Alice's helmet should fix you."

"Alice rides?" I ask.

"Only if she gets the chance to wear an expensive pink motercycle suit with a pretty pink helmet." he smiles.

Jasper hands me a helmet and I pull it on, it fitting perfectly. Jasper pulls on his own black one and gets on the motercycle.

"Hey Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Hold on tightly, I don't want to get slayed by Edward because you fell off."

"Will you be alright?" I question.

"It won't bother me as much, we're in the fresh air." he shrugs.

I do as I am told and have the ride of my life and get some McDonalds to make the day even better. Though, it will come to an end once all the Cullen's return. My human life is now on the line and the days that I have left as my current species are now dwindling. Who knows how many heart beats I could have left.

**A/N: Well, hey there again people. I kind of noticed something as I skimmed through the previous chapters of the story. I'm starting to get a bit jumpy and skippy with seasons and what not. So just to clear things up...**

**Chapter 7: It is September, and Bella is 16.**

**Chapter 8: It skips to around March. Bella remains 16.**

**Chapter 9: It remains March.**

**Chapter 10: End of March/Early April.**

**Chapter 11: Same as chapter 10.**

**Chapter 12: November/December.**

**Chapter 13: November/December.**

**Chapter 14: November/December.**

**Chapter 15: November/December**

**Chapter 16: Early-Mid January.**

**Chapter 17: Early June.**

**Chapter 18: Early June.**

**This Chapter: Early September. (Yes, poor Bella was grounded over her Summer.)**


	20. It Burned

**A/N: I always seem to notice that when I have a severe lack of a social life (like when all my friends and I aren't on speaking terms) that I always end up writing more, due to all the extra time I have on my hands. Also, I just finished up my end of semester exams and I don't have school for a little while because other exams are still being written. So here's a chapter, that I finally managed to write up...because I was extremely bored. You can thank lots of friend drama and no school for this.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

I sat quietly on the couch, staring at my feet as Carlisle paced back in forth in front of me and Edward stood on the other side of the living room, visibly fuming. Carlisle and Edward had both been arguing over my future, and I definitely never wanted to see someone like Carlisle mad and he had definitely been mad at Edward. Fighting wasn't something that really suited a person like Carlisle. I never pictured him like that, I always pictured him as calm and well put together but clearly he was frazzled over this.

I felt really bad that all of this tension was being caused because of me. I hate being the center of attention, and that's definitely what I was right now. The center of attention…

Esme was sitting beside me on the couch, I actually laid my head on her shoulder and her arm was wrapped comfortingly around me. This subject really wasn't one I was fond of. I just wanted to finish High School as a normal human teenager. Is that so much to ask for? I don't think it should be, but now it's just the big issue. There is only two people who want me to stay human for now, and that's Edward and I. His reasons were different than mine, though.

"I guess I can go through with it as soon as you want me to, Carlisle." I finally say, "Like I told Jasper, my last wish is to just be able to go and play some laser tag as a human, otherwise… I guess I don't really care. I just want to eventually graduate from High School."

"You will," Carlisle assures, "just not next year. Maybe a few years late, but you still will get to graduate. Probably many times over, actually."

"That must be torture, all that school." I make a face, "I'd rather die than go to High School one hundred times. That place is rough, you know that right?"

"Some of those girls are so catty." Alice giggles.

"Or just like Rosalie." I roll my eyes.

"No need to pick on Rosalie now." Esme chastises, "She's not here to defend herself."

"Perfect time to get any comments I want to make in." I say, simply.

My last words go ignored as the pacing continues and I just sigh, looking up to gaze out the window. The weather was wet and cold, just a typical cloudy and miserable day in Forks. It kind of looked like how I felt, miserable. I look over my shoulder, back where Edward was just kind of stiffly standing there and I offer him a small smile, but he just glares right back at me. He wasn't a happy camper.

I can't help but roll my eyes and direct my attention back to Carlisle, I hadn't noticed that he was starting to talk again and that it was directed at me. Damn, my fault.

"Bella?" he questions.

"What?" I ask him.

"Is that okay?" he raises his eyebrows.

"Is what okay?" I ask, "Sorry, I didn't hear you. I was looking at Mr. Crabby Pants."

"We want you to be changed this weekend." Carlisle sighs, "Is that alright?"

"This weekend, really?" I squeak, and Esme lightly squeezes my shoulder.

"The latest I could post pone it is maybe about a month."

I abruptly get up and run to my room, and slam the door shut with a loud "BANG" and dive over to my bed, grabbing my pillow and clutching it tight to my chest as I stared up to the ceiling, tears forming in my eyes. I still don't want to be a vampire, not so soon. I thought I'd have at least another few months of so to get everything sorted out. Not just merely a matter of days or weeks. How can they just force this on a poor teenaged girl?

The tears actually do begin to fall now and I try to slow them down. I don't want anyone to know that I was crying about this, that'd ruin me right there. Another thing about being a vampire that I would hate would be the longing for blood. I had actually overheard a conversation that Jasper and Emmett were having about me a few days ago. They were making a bet on how long it would take me to slip and take the life of a human.

Emmett had only given me one week before I made my first mess up, and that actually made me extremely sad. I don't want to kill anyone, I'm not a killer.

"Bella, can I come in?" Edward calls, knocking on the door.

"No, go away." I snap at him.

"Come on, let me in. Everyone's worried about you." He says, smoothly.

"So? I'll come out when I want to, or when I'm hungry, whichever one comes first. You all know that won't be more than a few hours because I am a pig."

"Why not just come out now then?" he asks, "I'll even buy you food out for supper if you come out now."

"I already ate out today." I sigh, "Jasper took me to McDonalds, Edward."

"If you don't let me in, I'll just come in then." He growls.

"Just leave me alone!" I complain, "I want to be left alone right now so I can think about things. Why don't you get that, why can't I just have some privacy and be left alone for a while? I don't think that's too damn much to ask of a person or a vampire!"

"Fine," Edward growls, "but if you're not down here in two hours I will just walk in to the room, I don't care."

"Do whatever the hell you please." I snap at him, and continue to stare at the ceiling.

Can I just lay here in this bed and do nothing my whole life? That sounds like a good alternative option to me. The Volturi wouldn't have to worry about me going outside and telling someone that vampires are real, because I'd be locked up in my room all the time. I'd eventual grow old here right on this bed and end up dying. No need to worry about me going and messing up anything. Right?

However, that's not how this whole thing works. It's either I become a vampire or the Cullen's and I all die, and to be honest… I really do not want that. Maybe I wouldn't care if I died, but if the Cullen's died because of me, I don't think I could take that.

As I laid in bed thinking of all the different outcomes of the situation I drifted off to sleep for a while and had strange dreams…

_There was fangs, blood, garlic coffins and lots of screaming… I also saw myself with extremely beautiful features, but there was something wrong about it. I looked evil, and my eyes were crimson red and beside me was a pile of at least twenty human bodies, and currently in my grasp was a screaming child of about three years old. With a glint in my eyes, I snapped the child's tiny neck and the screaming ceased._

I shot up out of bed and shook my head. NO. That wasn't how I was going to be as a vampire, I am going to be good like the Cullen's. I am going to have the same honey golden eyes as they will after a while. I am going to be just fine, and I am not going to slip up. The only blood I will have is animal blood, and that is it. I am going to be a good girl, and I will remain determined to be that way.

"I'll be a good girl." I mutter to myself, as I get up and stumble around my room.

I went in to my bathroom and brushed my hair out, because I had a bad case of bed head going on, and then I wiped my sweaty face off with a cool cloth. I walked out and then headed downstairs, just because I was extremely hungry at this point in time. Esme was already in the kitchen cooking for me, and I smile politely at her.

"Smells nice, Esme."

"Glad you think so, Bella." She smiles her usual and familiar "mom" smile.

"This will take away the guilt of eating at McDonalds for lunch." I make a face, "It looks healthy."

"It is healthy." She laughs, "Or Carlisle and Edward would strangle both myself and you."

"I doubt they would do that, just wouldn't be too happy about things." I comment, and take out my own plate and cutlery. At least I can do that much. I normally like to cook my own food, makes me feel useful. "Would you like me to do these dishes here seeing as your busy cooking?"

"You don't need to, Bella." She replies.

"I know, but I want to."

"Well then you can go right ahead."

I smile slightly at her and then go run the water to do the dishes, adding the soap and watching the bubbles and the water rise. I made sure it wasn't too hot though, I despised it when the dish water was too hot. I added the dishes in and started scrubbing away at them. Esme and I made a pretty good kitchen team, I must admit. I continue to scrub away at the dishes and then put them on the drying rack, and that's when I got lost in thought again.

I couldn't get the dream that I had out of my head, it made me cringe just thinking about it, and of course, Esme did notice the cringe at the look of disgust on my face.

"Is there something wrong, dear?" she asks, concerned.

"No, there's nothing wrong." I say softly, "I'm fine."

She gives me a sceptical look and returns to the food, placing what she had cooked on the plate that I had taken out for myself. "You can stop with the dishes now, Bella. Foods ready, and I'm sure you're probably hungry."

"Yeah, I am really hungry." I mutter, "Main reason I came down."

"Are you alright now?" she asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. When am I being changed, do you know?" I ask, drying off my hands and sitting down at the table, taking a few bites of food.

"Saturday evening, I do believe." She says, "I'm extremely sorry, Bella."

"No, it's okay." I say, sighing. "Really, Esme…it's fine, and I'm fine."

She smiles at me, "You're a brave girl, Bella."

Yeah, that's what you think, Esme. Sometimes I really don't feel all that brave, at all. In fact, I feel like a total wimp and would rather go hide under my blankets where the 'monsters can't get me' because that's apparently supposed to be the 'universal rule'.

* * *

I was laying down on my bed and everyone was in my bedroom, even Rosalie included. Today was the day that it was going to happen, the day that my humanity was going to be torn from me all in the blink of an eye. Today is the day that I may end up turning in to a total monster that terrorizes Forks and the surrounding area, and then I still may up dying at the hands of the Volturi.

Carlisle tenderly brushed some hair from my forehead and leaned in slightly, giving me a reassuring smile.

"Everything will be alright, Bella." He says, calmly.

"Just get this over with." I plead.

I squeeze my eyes shut and feel his cool breath just inches from my neck, waiting to penetrate my skin and fill my blood stream with the stinging venom. Finally he bites down on my neck, and my eyes clench together even tighter. The venom flows in to my blood stream and my entire body tenses up, already feeling the scorching fire. I already start to flail and a whimper bubbles from my lips, and I try my hardest not to let my soft whimpers turn in to shrieks.

It burned.

**A/N: Figured it was about time I finally got to the change. Just need to figure out where to go from here, I am always bad at planning out these types of things. I realize that.**


	21. Disappointment

**A/N: Here's the glory of also having no school tomorrow, another chapter of story for you people and another chapter closer to me finally getting this story done...and it's really about time. -.- Not that I don't like writing this or anything, it's just that when I do write, it becomes so time consuming...especially when I have to write with a plot and stick with a certain thing. Usually I'm okay with writing and letting my imagination run wild with whatever I'm writing, and then I'd just make it a one shot...but yeah. Whoops...rambling. I usually do that when it's late at night.**

**Disclaimer: *Yawns* Seeing as you already know what should be here and all...**

Knowing that I was going to be changed I was prepared for pain, and lots of it. However, no amount of mental preparation could completely prepare me for the fire that I felt going through my system for what seemed like endless hours. I didn't scream though, I couldn't bring myself to scream because I didn't want to seem weak to them, and I didn't want anyone to feel bad, nor did I want Edward to end up angry because of the pain I was in.

My heartbeat was speeding up dramatically as I heard the words that I was longing to hear for a long time. I was going to wake up as a vampire very soon, and then all of this was going to be over. Then the next chapter of my story begins, and I have to make sure that this next chapter is a fucking good one, or I may just end up being a highly suicidal vampire. No jokes.

I squirmed even more as the fire seems to intensify in my system for the last few minutes, but now it was starting to slowly go away.

"This is almost over, Bella." I can hear Esme's voice soothe me.

"Yes, it is almost over for her, Esme." Jasper agrees, "Which is why I'd prefer that you stay back. You know just as well as I do that newborns are dangerous beings."

_I won't be a dangerous being, though! I'm going to be an okay newborn… I won't hurt anyone! You're wrong about me Jasper, you're so wrong. Just because you had to deal with newborns doesn't mean we're all the same._

"Just seconds away now." Alice mutters, softly. "She's going to be so beautiful."

"She also won't be able to be your little dress up doll anymore." Emmett chuckles, "Sorry, sister."

"I'll find ways to cope." Alice sighs.

My heart begins to beat so quickly it felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest and splatter around the room, making a rather disgusting mess. Instead, it stops. I had just had my last few heart beats as someone who was truly alive.

Sliding open, my eyes looked around the room as I took in all the new things I could see. Even all the tiny dust particles in the air were clearly visible to me. I had perfect motion of both arms, and my skin was pale and when I ran a finger along my arm, it was more hard yet soft at the same time.

Then I noticed the terrible burning in the back of my throat, and I winced at it because it hurt me that much. Clearly I needed some blood, or I was going to go mad already. I looked up to the Cullen's, and Jasper growled slightly at me. Everyone else was standing behind him and Emmett. I just give him a strange look and feel kind of confused.

"Am I supposed to be that much of a monster that you all have to stand back?" I ask, and my voice sounded hoarse. I really needed to get something in to my system, or I was going to jump out of that window and kill something.

"It's precaution." Jasper says, stiffly, "For everyone's safety."

"I'm not a monster." I spit, "I'm just like any of you guys now, so don't go treating me as if I'm something different."

"Newborns are usually extremely out of control, especially if they're frightened and extremely thirsty." Carlisle explains.

"I'm extremely thirsty but do I look like I'm about to rip your limbs off?" I snap. "No, I do not. So Jasper, you can stop looking all defensive, or I'll _give _you a reason to look defensive. Now who the hell is taking me hunting, I want to rip the throat out of something and for goodness sakes, it best be the throat of an animal."

"I'll take you." Edward says simply, "I'd like the honours of taking you on your first hunt."

"Not fair." Alice mumbles, "I wanted to."

"I won fair and square." He smirks, triumphantly.

"What did you guys do?" I question, getting up.

"Rock paper scissors." Emmett smirks.

I just raise my eyebrows and give Edward a pointed look and nod my head towards my bedroom window. I've always wanted to jump out of a second story window, so why not do it when I can jump out and not sustain life threatening injuries from it. I give Edward another look, and my face showed that I wasn't all that confident about this.

"You go first." I tell him, simply.

"The pleasure is mine." He chuckles, and jumps out the window.

I watch him land perfectly and then I grin, jumping out of the window and following after him. It was exhilarating with the wind whipping through my hair and the cool air filling up my lungs even though I didn't need it.

* * *

I curled up on the forest floor in a small ball as dry sobs wracked my small frame, beside me was two human bodies that were now both drained of blood and it was all my fault. Clearly they had been out of camping range because this area wasn't even designated camping area, it was too far in the woods for any people to be. It was dangerous to venture out this far, because of animals and the risk of getting lost. I bet they never thought it was dangerous to be out in this area because of vampires. Edward had tried so hard to keep the two of us off the beaten path of humans, but yet some still managed to be here in the wrong place at the wrong time and I had lost it.

Emmett and Jasper were right about me all along…but I bet they didn't count on me feeling horrible about it like I do now. As soon as I had tossed the drained bodies to the side, I crumbled and had some type of nervous breakdown, if a vampire can even call it that.

Edward was anxiously pacing back and forth , running his hands through his bronze hair and occasionally sighing every few steps or so. Probably trying to figure out what the hell he should tell Carlisle and the others. Maybe he's even thinking about how they should just burn me in flames now because I'm going to viciously murder every human I happen to unfortunately stumble upon.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I wail, "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not your fault." He consoles, "It's mine. I should have taken you even farther away from here…"

"No, you didn't know that I was going to go all mental should we stumble upon someone." I whisper.

"I expected it." He says, grimly.

"I guess no one had faith in me, and for good reason." I mutter.

"Some of us had faith in you, but I wouldn't expect you to be able to stand the smell of that after being changed not even a full hour ago."

I just shake my head and sigh softly, finally managing to pull myself together I stand up and brush the leaves and what not off of my clothes. I looked up at the bits of sky I could see through the thick trees and then back down at the ground. Maybe if there is a heaven those two people that I just killed will be there, and they'll be happy now in a world with no pain. At least, that's what I hope for. Not that I ever was a religious person or anything.

"We should find you a deer or something and then go back home." Edward suggests. "I take it now that you know what to do."

That sent a pang of guilt right through me, "Yeah, I do."

I let my senses and hunting abilities consume me, and just pray that I'm not led to another human.

* * *

Carlisle looked disappointed when Edward told him about my incident but he didn't seem mad at me or anything for it. They all looked sympathetic except for Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper both looked triumphant, even though one of them did end up losing the bet both of them were still somehow pleased with themselves. Rosalie just had her simple 'I told you so' face plastered to her features.

I look at Jasper and Emmett, "I hope you two are happy." I say, sadly, "I heard the two of you talking a while back…"

"Talking about what?" Esme raises her eyebrows at me, and then looks sternly at the two of them.

"We had a bet…" Emmett sighs, "About how long she'd last without snapping and killing a human."

"That is extremely rude." Carlisle says, "I'm displeased with the both of you for even talking about something like that. Especially you, Jasper… I'm sure you must know what Bella's going through right now."

"Of course, Carlisle…"

I just sigh and leave the living room and walk upstairs to my own room to change out of my tattered and bloody clothes. I walk in to the bathroom and wipe the blood off the corners of my mouth, and look miserably at my crimson eyes. How long would it take for these eyes to be the mesmerising color of the Cullen's eyes? Will my eyes even get to be that color, or will I keep messing up?

_You're never good enough and you don't know why…_

Yeah, that really kind of sounds like me right now. I'm like Queen of the Fuck Ups and sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and get all of this right. Now I'm just starting to sound emo again, emo and depressed. However, I won't let myself fall back to that kind of state again. Not that I could cut, but the depression part of it, at least.

Edward walks in to my room and honestly right now, I don't even care that he didn't bother knocking and just kind of barged in. He hugs me from behind and kisses the top of my hair lightly, and I squirm out of his grip, turn around to face him, and then nuzzle my head in to his chest as the dry sobs started to shake through me once again.

"Hey, don't cry." He says softly, as he strokes my hair, "No one's mad, it's not your fault."

"It still happened though." I whimper, "It happened and I did it. I don't want to be a monster. I'm not a monster, Edward."

"Of course you're not a monster, Bella." He says, soothingly, "You'll never be a monster. Just trust me, you're being a normal newborn vampire. In about a year or so you'll be fine. Maybe more, or maybe less. It all depends, everyone is different."

"I hope it's not any more than a year." I say, "I don't want to be like this for a year or more. I'd go crazy, Edward."

"If it makes you feel any better, I've killed loads more humans than you probably ever will." He winces.

"You did?" I ask in astonishment, as he tenses but still continues to hols me to him and stroke my hair.

"Yes…" he sighs, "My rebellious years, actually. I only killed the bad people though. The rapists and the murderers…people like that. Carlisle and Esme were devastated though."

"Do you ever regret it?" I ask him.

"Sometimes, and sometimes I don't."

"Why?"

"It rid the world of some excuses for people, didn't it? Something the law would never do. Especially not back then. Things weren't nearly as advanced as they are now. You're lucky to be born when you were."

"Did any of the others besides Jasper mess up?" I ask.

"Yes, I know they did. Not my story to tell though. If you're curious ask the questions yourself. I'm sure none of them would hesitate to tell you."

I just shrug and take a step back from him and look at my feet and then back up to his gorgeous face. He chuckles at me and drops a kiss on my forehead.

"Do you really love me…even now?"

"Yes, of course I do."

I can't help but smile a little bit, "Good, because I love you too."

"I knew that." He smiles his classic crooked smile, "Are you alright now, Bella?"

"I'll cope."

I'll figure out how to deal with this little ordeal somehow, or at least I hope I will. I think Edward will help me make it through though. I trust that he really does love me, and he's always been protective.

**A/N: Well, hope you liked that. Reviews would be lovely to cheer up the girl who almost sliced off her finger when she was cutting green peppers, and was nearly murdered by her laptop cord when she tripped over it, and also the one who failed at cooking supper yesterday evening. So she needs some cheering up, and reviews would clearly do that. ;)**


	22. Life Continues To Improve

**A/N: Hey guys. I know it's been ages since I updated this story so I'd be honestly shocked if any of you who read this are still 'out there' in the FF world still actively reading. I just felt like writing again, and I stumbled upon this and just couldn't stand the thought of leaving this story incomplete. I can't guarantee that I'll update with most likely the final few chapters within the next couple of weeks because I am in my Senior year and I have a lot to do, but Christmas break is approaching and I'll be sure to whip up the last few chapters. Thanks to everyone who has read this, I've looked back and I just really appreciate all of your reviews. You people on this website are amazing for encouraging young writers to keep on going. I find that really amazing. I started this story back when I was 15ish and it was a rough time in my life, but reviews from you people definitely gave me a lot of confidence. I'm going on 18 in about a week, and sometimes I think that I wouldn't be the happy person who's good with words and whatnot if it wasn't for the encouragement of people on FF. Thanks every one.**

It had been a few months since I had my little mess up that caused me to feel terrible about myself. With a bit of support I managed to work past it. Jasper had felt bad for making a bet on if I would slip up or not and going for the 'slip up' part of it. So he tried to help me through it by sharing some of the experiences he had. I guess it sort of made me feel better knowing that someone else suffered the same pain that I did and that they were trying to help me, but it still hurt. It was never my intent to take the life of another human being. Sometimes it still makes me depressed that I have to take the life of an animal but better than a human. I know it makes me sound soft and like someone should give me a "Save the Mountain Lions" shirt, but I couldn't help it.

"Do you still find it hard sometimes, Jasper?" I ask him. I confided in him a lot more now that I was a vampire and able to go near him without making him uncomfortable.

"Not as bad as I used to." He says, "It is still hard some days. I guess having you live in the house made things a little bit better. Going to the hospital to visit while we were in Alaska kind of helped as well, in a way. Even though I still couldn't stay as long as the others."

"I didn't really tell you then, or tell you ever but it really meant a lot that you were actually in my hospital room sometimes, even though I was high as fuck and didn't really notice who was or wasn't there."

"Well, I just wanted to see for myself that my younger sister really was alright." He shrugs, "However, you're welcome."

I unexpectedly hug him and he hugs me back after getting over the moment of shock. "I love you, idiot brother." I roll my eyes.

"I love you too, bratty kid sister." He sighs, "Look, and I am really sorry about the whole bet thing. Really, I know that it must have made you feel terrible."

"Don't worry about it." I mumble, "Really, it's alright."

"No, it's not but thanks for being so nice about it."

"Yeah, well seeing as I'm still not the nicest person on the planet you're one lucky vampire." I elbow him, "Don't take it for granted. I might not be so nice the next time you decide to be a jack ass. You hear me?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. Poor Carlisle and Esme, no matter how hard they try I don't think they'll ever be able to get the bad language from out of my vocabulary. It's been there ever since I was a pre-teen and I doubt it'll leave now. Not even as a vampire.

* * *

When people started noticing that I didn't turn up to school any more, the Cullen's phoned the school and told them that I had got a severe illness and was being treated by Carlisle at home. Edward and Alice had still gone to school everyday. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett had graduated the June that I got in trouble with the whole speeding ticket thing. A few months after the rumour of my 'illness' spread around town and people started to question things, that's when another story was made up and we relocated to yet another drab and dreary town in the USA.

I still struggled from time to time with the whole human thing but my eyes were now the same liquid honey colour that the rest of my family had.

I was thinking about everything that had taken place over the course of my still young life, only to be drawn out of that thinking by a set of arms sneaking around my face and a couple of kisses to my neck.

"Edward." I state, "Don't scare the fuck out of me like that, alright?"

"You obviously knew that I was there, Bella." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yes, but you know that when I'm in deep thought I tend to tune out the world." I sound annoyed, but it was almost impossible for me to stay annoyed with Edward now.

"What were you thinking about?" He asks me, turning me to face him.

"Well, everything that's happened in my life. The good things and the bad things. How your family changed my life. About our relationship and how I'm grateful that I have someone like you, even if you do sometimes have a stick stuck up your ass."

He sighs, "Again, I will say this... sometimes I wonder what I see in you, Bella."

"Sometimes I wonder what you see in me, as well." I wink, "You chose to be with me, though. So I guess you should have figured that out before we advanced our relationship."

Even in the first month after my change our relationship still wasn't the strongest one. It was basically the same way it was as I was a human. I'd do something to annoy him and he wouldn't talk to me for a while. Then I'd go in, tell him that if he didn't start talking to me that I'd punch him or set him straight. Essentially I would say anything to get his attention, even if it was something negative. Then we had our sweet moments where I was completely love with the dork that was Edward Cullen. It just kind of went in cycles.

Then finally there was a breaking point, where I couldn't take him being so uptight and he couldn't take me being so careless anymore. We had probably the longest relationship talk that any couple has ever had. It lasted for at least a good twelve hours and we got stuff sorted out. We loved each other, but we just needed to figure out how to get a happy medium. After talking, we got that happy medium. Things worked out pretty well but the two of us still had our occasional fights, but that's to be expected. We're still a normal couple... with the term normal being used quite loosely.

Edward snorts, "Now don't we sound all prim and proper. Advanced our relationship?"

"Well, what would you like me to say?" I roll my eyes, "You should have fucking thought about that before you made the decision to be with me, _Edweird?" _I mock him slightly, "Sounds about right to me, but I was actually trying to be nice."

"Sometimes that I forget that still you're still a young teenaged girl, who's not even 18 yet."

"Well, excuse me there, dumb ass... but I'm actually a teenage vampire." I grumble at him.

"You're still a female, unless there's something you need to tell me?"

"Yeah, Eddie...so you're dating a guy." I wink, "That's what I am. A male. Congratulations, you're really gay. Your siblings were correct!"

He makes a face, "That's not even funny, Bella. I'm not gay."

"Yeah, I know." I bat my eyelashes in him, "Seeing as you stuck your dick in me, I guess that would give some evidence that you're actually straight. Or maybe bisexual."

He looks mad, "You're going a little bit too far, Bella."

I sigh, "Alright... happy medium. I'm sorry, Edward. You know that I love you, a lot."

"I know." He pinches the bridge of his nose, "I love you too."

"You better love her, seeing as you did it with her!" I hear Emmett yell from down in the living room, and if I could blush, I probably would have. Emmett still made the losing the v-card cracks at me all the time. Then promptly reminded Edward that if he ever broke my heart, he'd burn in a nice toasty camp fire.

Essentially that was my every day life now. I dealt with my over protective parents, my crazy siblings, and my seriously up tight boyfriend. Yet, I loved every aspect of my life now. Not every day is perfect but most days are so much better than what I first started with. I love the Cullen's and I love Edward. Even Rosalie and I had some type of truce and managed to have long chats that were heart felt every once in a while.

I learned how she had become a vampire and the events that led to it. We talked about things like that and I told her my experiences with being raped. We both went through the same thing and we found that it helped the both of us to talk to someone else who had gone through it. Rosalie was still upset that she was forever frozen but I kept on reminding her that an eternity with Emmett probably wasn't so bad. Things could be worse.

Soon, I knew that Carlisle and Esme were considering getting me sent back to school once again. I had never really finished grade eleven and never had the whole graduation experience with grade twelve yet. I guess I'll start school again in September. It's now June. It's been nine months since I was put through the change.

I didn't know if I was ready to be heading back to a place with so many humans yet, but the Cullen's had faith that I was ready to be exposed to that. Edward and my siblings would be there with me, so I guess it wouldn't be so terrible. I really did want to get High School over with, and graduate for the first time. Even if that meant I would just have to go and do it all over again.


	23. Won't Give Up

**A/N: I know I promised an update every two weeks now until I finally get this story done with but unfortunately crap happens and that wasn't possible. I was very sick and was in ICU for one week. As I am in my final year of High School there's also a lot of work to catch up on when you miss time so I really didn't have much time for much else. Now though, it is the weekend. I'll probably write up another chapter tomorrow because I am feeling generous. I think I am a few chapters from getting this tied up though. Maybe 2-3. 4 chapters at the most. Thank you for any one who has read or reviewed this story (though I would really appreciate more reviews, please. Give me some incentive to actually finish this for you guys!)**

**Just another reminder for people to just make sure they're remembering the time line. THIS is the Summer. It's around 9 months or so since Bella has been changed. She was changed not that long in to her grade 11 year, so when she resumes school in September (in a new town and everything obviously) she will be re-starting in grade 11.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I own the lyrics at the end of this chapter.**

I was completely fucking terrified, all of the Cullen/Hale siblings plus my lovely boyfriend escorted me to a decent sized shopping mall in order to try and test out my control with humans. They wanted to make sure that I would be able to return to school and do alright with it. After my first and only slip up I couldn't manage to bring myself anywhere near humans. It was almost like I had a phobia of them because I was so scared that I was going to mess up and brutally kill someone. If vampires could have severe psychological issues and phobias... I would be one to start getting them.

"I can't do this, Edward." I mumble, as I grab his hand and hold on to it as tightly as I can without injuring him. I was still within my first year of this life, so I was still stronger than he was.

"You're going to be okay." He assures me, "I believe in you, Bella. We all do."

"Fuck, Edward, I really don't think I can do this!" If I could cry there would be tears starting to form right now.

"You're all right. You're more controlled than you were that first time. It was more my fault than it was yours back then. Most of us have had a slip up. It wasn't your fault. You're going to do just fine this time."

"Plus," Emmett comes up beside me and lightly punches me on the arm, "we need to get you back to school so we can at least have you graduate officially for the first time, and then put you through the torture of graduation a hundred more times after that."

"Whatever." I mumble, as we head in to the mall. All fresh air gone now. Just the dry stale air and the lovely smell of human blood filling it.

"Take a deep breath now." Alice says softly. "Try not to breathe too much. No one is going to be paying attention to you right now. We'll work on actually being able to look like you're breathing after you get through this. Okay?"

"Blink every once in a while." Jasper adds in, "It makes you look a little more human like and less like a statue."

"Anything else?" I ask, with a pained expression on my face. I could smell the blood rushing through all these people's bodies. Trying to concentrate on other things like the smell of animal blood didn't make it feel any better. It made me want to pounce them even more. I didn't want to do that.

I don't want to hurt any one, but I was still struggling with the whole human thing. Perhaps a mall on my first time trying to be around crowds of humans was a bad idea. Why not take me somewhere that I could still be outdoors and still have some fresh air and the chance to get away if things got too bad for me to handle?

"Just relax." Edward says, giving my hand a squeeze. "You're doing good. Everything will be okay. You're going to do this and then we'll do this a few more times and then we'll be able to get you back in to school. We'll expose you a few more times before we actually start. We'll make sure that you're prepared. You just need to trust us. It will take a bit to get the hang of this."

"He is right, you know." Rosalie finally says. The two of us don't really talk a lot, but we've managed to get past our hate for each other. "It takes a lot of adjusting and you had a bad first hunting experience, but don't let that shape the rest of your vampire life. You'll be able to get as close to your normal self as possible."

"I just don't think you'll be able to take hits of weed or get drunk anymore." Emmett tries to joke, but Rosalie gives him a swift smack upside the head.

"Fine." Is all I settle on for an answer, then I look at Alice. "Well... what are you waiting for? Take me shopping. I don't want to stand around here all day looking like an idiot as much as I hate to shop."

She grins, "Okay!" Alice looks at the boys, "You guys can go and look around for twenty minutes or so. I don't see anything bad happening. I think Bella will be fine if she stays with Rosalie and I. We'll only go to a few stores."

Edward, Jasper and Emmett all look uncomfortable. "Are you sure about that, Alice?" Emmett asks.

"Of course I am!" She laughs, "I can see the future, Emmett. She's going to be okay."

I look at Edward, "If you don't hear from us in 30 minutes at maximum, please come and look for me." I give him pleading eyes.

"Afraid something will go wrong?"

"Or maybe just afraid that Alice will force me to try on twenty frilly dresses."

He chuckles lightly and then kisses me on the lips before disappearing with the boys. That left Alice, Rosalie and I to go to a few stores and pick up some things. As Alice would claim, it was early back to school shopping. Though we all know her back to school shopping will be a bigger shopping trip than this. It is Alice Cullen that we're talking about.

I managed to do okay with the mall, but after about 45 minutes of being there I had to leave or I was going to snap. Alice could tell it was going to happen so we got out of there before anything bad could happen.

"I'm sorry." I keep on apologizing over and over to them.

"Don't be." Alice smiles, "I'm just glad you went in there and you were okay for almost an hour!"

"It wasn't long enough..." I trail off. "Not as long as something like a school day."

"It was your first time, you're not going to be able to last for a long time on your first day testing things out. Don't worry. We'll keep on exposing you to stuff before school starts. By then, you'll be perfectly fine. Oh! I just can't wait for you to get to your graduating year. Prom dress shopping!"

I just groan and shake my head. There was no way that I wanted to think about fucking prom dresses just yet. I can't even get through a full hour at the fucking mall without wanting to drain someone of life, so a piece of intricately designed fabric was the last of my concerns. Though when you have Alice Cullen as your sister you're almost forced to think of things like that, no matter what the situation is.

* * *

I spent a lot of my summer doing things that would help me get ready for the stresses of school as an almost year old vampire. Really, I was still a baby in this life so that caused some stress for me.

When I wasn't spending time getting ready for going in grade 11, I was spending lots of time with Edward and continuing to get to know him on more intimate levels. Sure, despite him being the type of man who wanted to wait until marriage the two of us have still done things like broken his 'no sex before marriage' vow... but a lot of our relationship had been based on anger, sexual tension, and just the small things. So now I spent a lot of time asking him things about his past life, his change, what his biological parents were like and anything that I could think of. If I was going to marry him some day I wanted there to be no surprises. I didn't want to think about something coming up from his past that might cause conflict for us.

"You don't think that Tanya would still try and come flirt with you if you and I ended up getting married in a couple of years, do you?" I ask, casually. I wasn't trying to sound like a jealous or clingy girlfriend.

"I'd hope not, but knowing Tanya I think there maybe is a possibility." He sighs, "Don't worry about it though. You know I love you and not her."

"I know you do, Edward." I say.

To be honest, we really haven't had that much contact with the Denali Coven ever since Laurent tried to fucking kill me. Bloody bastard, I really could have died from what he did to me. I can't even believe that they all would have trusted him. His eyes still had red in them and I was quite obviously a human at that time.

"As much as I wanted to at the beginning, you know I'll never give up on you Isabella Marie." Edward gently kisses my lips.

I wrap my arms around his neck, "I'm glad that you didn't give up on me. Or you just might have been Edweird Cullen to me for the rest of my existence and nothing more."

"Couldn't have that now, could we?" He smirks slightly, giving me a dazzling crooked smile.

"Of course not." I mumble, nuzzling his nose with my own.

_I won't give up on us even if the skies get rough. I'm giving you all my love. I'm still looking up, still looking up. _


	24. Trust and School

**A/N: Well, here's another chapter that brings us closer to the end. I definitely think there will be two more and then it will be the end.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Half way through the Summer and I was going to the mall and other highly populated places almost daily and handling myself quite nicely. I was now starting to focus on things like looking like I'm breathing at regular intervals and all the other human things that would make me look normal. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Alice was just happy that she was getting me to come to the mall with her so frequently. Though I wouldn't buy stuff every time that I went there. I thought that it was a little bit ridiculous to do stuff like that. There would be a major shopping trip before school started up, unfortunately.

"I'm going to do so badly in school this year." I grumble to Edward, "I haven't been there in nearly a year and I'm not repeating High School for the billionth time like you guys are."

"You're extremely intelligent and have many resources for your educational needs."

"Jasper said he would help me with my History class." I say, shrugging. "You'll help me with biology, right?"

"Of course I will... and it makes it easier because I actually have that class with you." He smiles, "Alice has Trig with you. Rosalie and I both have English with you and I do believe that Emmett has one of your elective classes with you."

"Class with Emmett, that should be a blast." I roll my eyes.

"Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me!" I hear Emmett yell from downstairs and then distinctly hear the sound of a slap upside the head. "Ow, Rose, babe! Come on!"

Edward smirks and I snicker at that, serves him fucking right. I love my older brother and all but some times the comments he makes really deserve a smack upside the head. The great thing is we have Rosalie to ensure that he does get smacked and smacked well. Sometimes I really do love my bitch of an older sister.

"So that means that I have at least one of you in all of my classes, then?" I ask.

"That's right."

"Did this get planned out somehow?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Alice made sure to get it worked out that way. She had some strings pulled. We just want to make sure you'll be okay."

"Or do you not trust me?" I ask. "I've been doing alright."

"No, we just thought that perhaps it would be best just in case something did happen. We don't want to leave you vulnerable. That wouldn't be fair."

"Yes, because having Jasper in a class with me is going to help me out so fucking much."

"He has better control that you do."

"He could feed off my frenzied emotions and go just as crazy as I might, if I were to go crazy... which I won't."

"Bella, listen. We're doing you a favour and I didn't think you'd want to be alone in all your classes at a new school, while starting a new life. I just thought you'd want some of us to be there for you."

"I do want that Edward, I just don't want it because you guys can't trust me." I sigh in defeat.

"We do trust you." He shakes his head, "I promise. You're just over reacting to this. Please don't do that."

"I'm not over reacting, Edward." I just sigh and walk out.

I don't want the Cullen's to think that they'll have to constantly babysit me because I'm a newborn. I don't want them to feel like I have to be babied because we're going to a new school in a new town and all that dumb stuff. I don't want to be coddled by them because they don't think I can handle things like that. I'm a vampire and I don't need constant care. I just need them to trust me.

I seek out mom and dad who were both quietly talking to each other in dad's study. I clear my throat to get their attention and they both look at me, smiles appearing on their faces.

"Mom, dad... can I talk to you?" I ask hesitantly.

"Of course you can." Dad smiles at me. Carlisle is absolutely the best man on this earth.

"Do you guys trust me?" I ask.

"Of course we do." Mom says, looking surprised. "Why would you even have to ask that?"

"No, I mean do you guys trust me as a vampire?" I rephrase what I was trying to ask them.

"Bella, you've demonstrated much control out in public. You've gone to the mall quite a bit this summer with Alice and the others. You even came with us to a banquet for work and that was much smaller and more crowded than a mall is. You've done very well. We're all so proud of you for being able to do that. Of course we trust you."

Dad really could say anything that would cheer you up and of course it worked.

"So the others didn't try and make sure that at least one of them was in a class with me because they thought I was going to lose control, did they?"

"No," Mom says simply, "they just thought that it would be good for you to have some company just in case you struggled with blood but most importantly with all the change and the class work on top of that. They're only looking out for you. They trust you just as much as we do. Don't be mad at them, they only want what's best for you. Especially Edward."

"Okay." I bite my lip.

"Is there something else wrong?"

"I just... I love you guys... because you guys believe in me and saved me and never gave up on me and I'll always be grateful for that."

"We love you, too."

I nod and walk out of the study and back to my own room. I just needed a while to myself to just reflect on things and I had to do some more summer work for my History class. So best to get a start on it while I had the time to.

* * *

The first day of school came way too fast and I couldn't help but to be extremely nervous. I shouldn't have been worrying though. There would always be a Cullen with me, no matter where I was. Alice and Edward even had home room with me.

Of course the typical started. As soon as we pulled up to the school in all of our expensive cars with all of our expensive stuff and killer good looks all the students started gawking and staring at us. Females were glaring Alice, Rosalie and I down while the males were glaring grumpily at Edward, Emmett and Jasper. I was told to expect this so I wasn't too surprised when this reaction happened.

We all just shrugged and went to our designated home room's and stood outside them. We got our schedules and what not a few days earlier when we went to get registered as students here.

"Why does everyone either seem to want to hang out with us and be around us or want to brutally kill us?" I snort.

"Well, because we're totally awesome." Alice giggles.

"They're attracted to our good looks." Edward smirks slightly.

"Well, we are pretty good looking!" Emmett shouts from the other end of the hall. Again, he gets another slap from his wife. "Ow!"

At least all of our home rooms were in the same hallway, so we could still talk to each other while waiting for the bell to ring. When the bell did ring Alice, Edward and I went in to our home room and were pleased to find that the desks were in rows of 3. So we could all sit beside each other. We took the row at the back corner of the room and settled ourselves there so we didn't draw too much attention, though the teacher was already staring at us in awe. Edward and I were holding hands under the desk and he squeezed my hand a little more tightly and I could feel him tensely.

"What?" I whisper to him.

"He's thinking of how good his life would be if student-teacher relationships weren't illegal and how he would fuck you in to oblivion on his desk."

I make sure to send a nice nasty glare up to the teacher, while also giving him a sickly sweet smile that would make someone's skin crawl. The teacher quickly looks away and makes small talk with a few students that he must have known from the years before.

Home room was mostly just a bunch of first day of school bull shit and the teacher handing out forms that we'd have to take home for our parents to fill out, and then school planners being handed out and what not. If I could have fallen asleep I probably would have done so. Then we went off to our first classes and the first day of school bull shit continued on until the end of the day bell. I've always felt that the first day of school was pointless. You didn't do much.

School was just boring in general. I never had to put a lot of work in to it, I always had my assignments done early, and I always received good grades on things. Not that I was complaining but I was expecting to have to put some effort in to things.

"Hey, Edward!" I call.

"What?" He asks, shaking some of the powdered snow off of the surface of his hair.

"That Allison girl was gossiping about you during English again." I smirk. "Until I gave her a nasty glare and then talked animatedly to one of my friends about how nice kissing you was."

"You would do something like that." He kisses my cheek, "No need to be jealous, Bella."

"Oh no, I just need to get the message out there that Edward Cullen is spoken for and he isn't planning on dumping me any time soon."

"Or at all."

"Exactly my point." I smile slightly.

"So, how is your friend?"

"Doing good." I say, "She asked me to come to a sleepover, but of course I had to decline."

"Well at least you're making a friend here and there." He says, reassuring me. "I'm proud of you."

The time in school was passing quickly. It was already nearing Halloween and I had managed to make a few really good friends and a couple of 'friends' and none of them drove me to a point where I wanted to drain them. All was well in the school department.

**A/N: Please- review. I'm taking the time to write this. So you can take the time to make a comment on this. I'm not the type of person that holds back a chapter for a certain amount of reviews, so don't make me become like that. I need comments on my work. **


	25. Engagement

**A/N: I haven't totally shown what Bella and Edward's relationship has been like in the past 3 or 4 chapters of this story... but I think this chapter finally shows the dedication of the relationship.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, nor do I own the three songs used in this chapter (in italics).**

*** ONE YEAR LATER ***

It's already been a year since I started school and slowly started to make a few friends. The rest of my siblings were more secluded, but because of me Edward associated more with people in the school. I just didn't want to be pegged with the 'strange' status that the Cullen's had when I was a human back at Forks High School. It had taken a lot of self control to do things like be near a lot of humans but it seemed to be working out alright for me. I was okay,I hadn't injured anyone or even had any too close calls. Some slightly close calls were inevitable given how young in this life I was but hey, at least I was doing alright. Pretty fucking awesome if you ask me.

Being in grade 12 was definitely more stressful than being in grade 11. Despite the fact that I was a vampire and had all the time in the world to do homework, study and write reports I felt that any mark below an A was terrible. See, I actually wanted to be able to go to one of the Ivy League Colleges that the Cullen's were talking about. I wanted to be good enough to get in, however the grade 9 and 10 marks on my transcripts were rather questionable. I can't believe I was such a fucking idiot and didn't think about things like that at the time. Though I had never intended on going to Post-Secondary education back then. To be honest I always thought I'd be dead by the time I got to grade 12. I always got myself in to so much trouble and given the ties that my ex-boyfriends brother had to drug dealers and possibly gangs back in Chicago, I wasn't always in the safest situations. I was fucking blind and stupid.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" Edward interrupts my train of thoughts on the past and my academic future.

"Yeah, sure." I smile up at him and give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Despite the fact you're still in High School, well we both are but..." He trails off. "You are 19 now, given the fact that you spent a full year at 17 out of school... and you were 18 for grade 11."

"Yes, Edward I am aware of my ages and the fact that my grade 11 year was messed up because I was changed at 17." I roll my eyes, "Anything else you want to tell me about myself that I'm already aware of?"

"No, I just wanted to ask you something...and was trying to reason it out again."

"If you keep having to try to reason with yourself about it, then maybe it's not the appropriate time to ask the question." I say, softly.

"I think it's the right time, because I love you so much."

"I love you too. Despite the fact you're way too overprotective of me at times."

He rolls my eyes, "I'm trying to have a romantic moment here, Bella."

"Well then, get on with whatever you're going to do." I smirk at him.

"You make things so difficult, Bella."

"Hey, you chose me for a reason. You love me for all my imperfections and I love you for yours, so suck it up buttercup."

He smiles and shakes his head, and then before I know it he's down on one knee in front of me, "Isabella Marie, even from the first day I saw you I knew I felt something for you that wasn't hatred. I just didn't know what it was... until I figured out that it was love. I just didn't know how to tell you back then as you were so difficult and annoying to be around. Yet, when you were hurt or upset I always felt this pain in my dead heart that made me feel as if maybe I was alive again for just a little bit. I knew that I had to get through to you somehow and I guess I did. I know we haven't always had the greatest times, but I want to be tied to you... for an eternity. Isabella... Bella, will you marry me?" And he produces a box, and in it was a beautiful ring.

I stood completely still and I was in shock. I didn't really know what to do. In reality I'm still only in grade 12. We still have to graduate and that won't be for another 5 months and then we all have to go to University. Won't I be judged if friends at school see the ring on my finger? Hell, they'd probably even think that I was knocked up. If I love Edward I won't care what people think, though.

"Yes." I whisper, and he slides the ring on my finger. "I'm not wearing the ring to school though. Or in public around here. I don't want people to think I'm knocked up..."

"I can deal with that, I'm just glad that you said yes." He says, standing up now. He pulls me in for a gentle kiss, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"This means I'll have to go dress shopping with Alice, won't I?"

"You know it!" I hear her yell from downstairs.

"For prom, too." Edward reminds.

"Let me guess, I'll probably have to wear a dress to graduation under the gown, too?"

"Absolutely." Alice interjects again.

"Edward, can't you stop her?" I groan.

"I will protect you from anything, Bella." He kisses me again, "Anything but my sister."

"Some nice fiance you are." I snort. Though I couldn't help but to keep on smiling. I was so scared about all this and stressed about school but... eternity with Edward was my destiny.

"Sorry, love." He says softly, "How about we go downstairs and actually tell people face to face about the news."

"Well, they obviously already know."

"Humour all of us, Bella."

I just roll my eyes and link arms with Edward and we walk downstairs in to the living room. Mom and dad were beaming at the two of us, Alice was bouncing up and down in spot trying to control her excitement, Jasper was smiling at us and Rosalie and Emmett were both smiling... though Emmett was smirking just a little bit.

"Congratulations!" Mom walks up to the two of us and hugs me tightly, "I'm so proud of you and happy for you, Bella." then she looks at Edward, "And you! I never thought this day would come."

"Esme." He groans, sounding embarrassed.

"Yeah, man!" Emmett walks up and claps Edward on the shoulder, "Now we really have all the proof we need to know you're not gay."

"Shut up, Emmett." I tell him.

"Aww, the little Bella Boo thinks she can mouth off to the big mean brother bear because she's old enough to get married now." He tries to tickle me, but I just swat his hands away and threaten to burn the xbox.

Dad hugs me now, "I'm very happy for you, sweetheart. I know Edward will treat you well."

"Thanks, dad." If I could blush, I knew I would be blushing by now.

"Let me see the ring!" Alice bounces up to me.

"Oh, like you don't already know what it looks like."

"I still want to see it, show us!" She demands.

Just to keep the little pixie girl from threatening me with something like a shopping trip I raise my hand and show off the engagement ring to the rest of my family. I really did like it.

"That's quite the rock." Jasper whistles.

"It was my mothers." Edward says, "I do believe that she would have wanted me to use it for something like this."

"That's... actually really romantic in a way." I comment, "And we all know that I'm not much for the romance bull shit." I ignore the look from Carlisle and Esme about the cursing. It's not like I cursed as much now as I did when I was younger. I'm still trapped in a 17 year old body and go to High School. It's in my nature as a child raised mostly in the 21st Century.

"We should go out tonight to celebrate!" Alice declares.

"I have a report due tomorrow..." I trail off.

"It'll be dealt with." Alice says, "I think it's going to be sunny tomorrow anyways. We'll just say there's a nasty stomach flu spreading through the house and we're all ill with it. So you'll get an extra day with the report. It's easy anyways. Come on, we really should go out!"

"Where?" Emmett asks.

"Clubbing, of course!"

"Absolutely not." Edward says, "She shouldn't even be out clubbing."

"We're going. I've seen it. So shut up and deal with it. We're doing it to celebrate _your _engagement so try and at least let loose a little bit."

"I think this is something that Carlisle and I will be passing on." Esme smiles, slightly, "But yes, Edward, you and Bella should go. It can't hurt."

* * *

Unfortunately the only bad thing about going clubbing was the shopping for dresses but I managed to get through that without wanting to toss Alice to the other side of the store. Her, Rose and I had some really cute dresses that were bound to make our men go wild. We also picked our dresses in their favourite colours just to add to it all. Alice had instructed them to wear dark jeans and told them what colour dress shirts to wear so we would match with our significant other.

We all drove to Seattle and went to one of the most elite night clubs in the city. Of course it was no problem for us to get in to the place. It was obviously very high end. Emmett walks up to the bar and says that all alcohol being consumed was on him for the next few hours, causing us all to gain quite a bit of popularity.

_You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war. You and I go rough we keep throwing things and slamming the door. _

Edward listens to the music and makes a face, "This music is awful."

I just keep on sliding against him and dancing and enjoying myself like almost everyone else in the club. "I think it's good music. Come on, dance. Everyone else is enjoying this but you!"

"Too bad we can't get him drunk!" Emmett calls from just a few feet away from me, "It'd definitely help your cause out!"

"Tell me about it!" I call back.

"Take the stick out of his ass, Bella!"

_Yeah, but baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you. Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go. Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo .And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you. _

"I've tried. It's really stuck in there!"

Edward was scowling but even Alice and Jasper were laughing at my conversation with Emmett. Rosalie just rolls her eyes but there was a slight smirk on her face.

"Remind me why I talked all of you in to coming here?" Edward grumbles.

"It's fun. Come on, just let go for a little bit. Just a couple of songs, please?" I bat my eyelashes.

A less sexual song comes on and finally Edward agrees to start dancing and I felt like I was on cloud nine, despite the song wasn't the best one out there it still felt like things were pretty fun right now. I was living it up at a club with my new fiance and my siblings. Totally fine by me.

_Let's hang out if you're down to get down tonight, because it's always a good time!_

Tonight was actually the greatest time ever. I couldn't believe how much of a time I was having. It was almost impossible. This was so much better than the sex, drugs and always being drunk or stoned. This is what true fun is.

I look up when the D.J announces a special request from someone named Alice Cullen. I look over at Alice and she just smiles at me. Then I blush as he says the song is for Edward and Bella, who are newly engaged. Everyone claps and then embraces the chance to wind down for one song and either go and sit down or dance to a slow song.

I wrap my arms around Edward's neck and his hands were on the small of my back.

_When I look into your eyes it's like watching the night sky. Or a beautiful sunrise there's so much they hold. And just like them old stars I see that you've come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?_

"This is just a little bit embarrassing." I mutter, but I was beaming.

"You're beautiful when you're embarrassed." He tells me, "You're beautiful all the time, Bella."

_I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough. I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up_.

I look over to see my siblings dancing with each other, looks of adoration on their faces. Some of the human couples were dancing together as well, despite being so young the same look that the vampire couples had on their face after so many years of being with each other was evident on their faces. It was actually quite the heart warming sight to see.

_And when you're needing your space to do some navigating. I'll be here patiently waiting to see what you find. 'Cause even the stars they burn some even fall to the earth. We've got a lot to learn. God knows we're worth it. No, I won't give up. _

"I think if it were possible for a vampire to cry right now, I would be crying." I tell Edward. "From the happy emotions of all of this. I'm so fucking scared to get married, but I know this is right."

"It is right, it's always been right. All of this... everything... us. We were meant to be."

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily. I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make. Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake. And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn. We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in. I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am._

_I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough. I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up_. _I'm still looking up._

Even after the song changed to 'We Are Young' and the dance floor got filled up again with re-energized people ready to keep on dancing and keep on partying, I still couldn't keep my mind off that moment that Edward and I just shared.

We were getting married after we graduated. We'll be together.

Forever.


End file.
